says the man who has been hopping up and down outside the toilet door directly opposite where I am sitting in the waiting area. Goes in there for a suspiciously long amount of time, comes out and leaves the door open - aaaaaaarghh! Then another bloke rushes in, comes out wiping the sweat off his brow and the first guy rushes back in again. Comes out and leaves the door open again...! Why do blokes do this? Is it a thow back to cavemen days when marking the territory was on the wane socially, but a few stout-hearted chaps were determined not to let the practice die out completely? I dont know. By the time the pipipoopoo cycle began again I was being attacked by the hospital dog wanting a crisp and alternately hiding behind last June's copy of Country Life and fanning the green hued air away from me. I know its not mature, and nicely brought up folk dont even remark upon Her Maj letting one go, but it required a machete to get to the reception desk at one point this morning.

People with breast cancer get a tattoo to tell the machine exactly where to zap. But we have a clear plastic type mask which covers head and partial shoulders to hold everything still whilst the machine zaps. It is so tight she has marks on her chin where it sits. Starts on the 31st big time. The consultant says checks will continue for 10 years.

hope those blokes toilet issues have been dealt with by then - peeeeeeeuuuuuuuw!