Good morning folks, well I promised to explain the pig in the ambulance story, apologies to those of you who have read my book. For a number of years Dad kept some live stock on a small piece of land on the airport road. We had Goats, a couple of young calves, 2 or 3 sheep, a little Welsh Cob pony, and a couple of pigs. It once got to the stage where we had too much goat's milk, so we started feeding large quantities of it to one of the pigs. By the time Mr pig was ready for the slaughter house, he weighed in at around 16 stone. Pig was duly loaded in to the ambulance, and with Dad in the passenger's seat, Uncle Norman set about driving the ambulance and pig to the slaughter house. As Normie took the blackboards corner, the pig broke loose and clambered on to Norman's back and was sank his teeth into his neck. Norman put the ambulance in to the ditch whilst Father attacked Mr pig with a sledge hammer. The pig surrendered and took his place in the back of the ambulance once again. However, the passing coaches containing visitors and Lord only knows who else, must have wondered what kind of a place they had just arrived in as they witnessed they stumble across an ambulance with a pig on top of the driver under attack from the man sat in the passenger seat.

Well now, I have been going on a bit lately regarding some of the very silly laws that are being passed these days. Its not just here either. It seems to me that the whole World is going completely round the bend, well at least the politicians that run the western World. It seems that if I have one glass of brandy a night, I'm fine. However, if I have two I have a drink problem. We are told to take the kids to McDonalds, but make them have lettuce baps. We are told to cut back on flying and holiday at home. Recently no fewer than 5 MHK'S went on a jolly to Gibraltar to attend a seminar on climate change. Politicians must be the only folk on the planet who believe that all you have to do to affect climate change is pass a few laws. I am not sure how the MHK'S reached Gib, but surely they wouldn't have flown, would they!!! I keep expecting to hear on the wireless that they have instructed the Steam Packet to replace the Ben My Chree with a tall ship. Mind you if the politicians manage to get us out of the air and holidaying at home, they indeed will have all the finest resorts to themselves seeing as they are the only people I know that have a 10 week summer holiday and will therefore be the only folks who have the time to travel to their destination by sailing ship.

Well my friends, we are surrounded by health fanatics. Health fanatics are much more likely to do more damage than good. Personally I would encourage anyone to pack in smoking. Gosh, look what it did to me. However, I firmly believe that it should be down to people's choice. I think it was Churchill who said, "I might not agree with what you say, but I will defend with my life your right to say it!" We have the right if we choose, to kill ourselves. Blimey, I almost managed it!

I heard on the wireless the other day, that in Los Angeles they are about to bring in a law that will close down many of the McDonalds outlets. Other health cafés will take their place. In most McDonald outlets these days, they offer a choice of various salads besides their burgers. Surely people already have the choice of whether to eat a burger or not. I can't imagine that many folk actually go to McDonalds to enjoy a nice salad. After all you wouldn't go to the butcher to buy a pound of apples, although I suppose its only a matter of time before he is made to sell apples, bananas by law.

Now the blog has a wonderful assistant who works away tirelessly for the blog over in Los Angeles. From your emails I know that many of you enjoyed her little story about the mouse. Well our friend Marla has been at it again. This time she has come up with a prediction that has been made by one of her counterparts over there is the US.

HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR 2029

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia,formerly known as California .

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica . No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

Abortion clinics now available in every

High School in United States .

Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2030

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.

It has been a pleasure sounding off to you all again my friends, and all being well, I shall return tomorrow.Until then though, this is Tom Glassey with News from that very wet and timeless zone on the banks of the Silverburn River.