It’s Thursday afternoon. This week has been a real turning point for me. I actually feel now as if I am getting back towards full fitness. A couple of weeks ago, I hit a really bad patch. I was actually in the midst of some severe side effects of radiation. It actually felt much worse than that. I had been warned of the side effects of radiation; however, I was expecting them to arrive soon after treatment or even during treatment. Not three months after, and not all at the same time. My days became very short. I would wake in the morning feeling a little tired. By lunchtime the tiredness would be so bad, I would hardly be able to remain awake. By teatime I would be so cold that I would have to go to bed. I developed a violent cough and would cough until I was sick. I felt so ill that I started to believe that I would not recover again. I was so far from my former fitness, that I simply couldn’t see myself getting out and about and walking the dog again. I even began to think that the cancer was returning. I kept these thoughts to myself though. Me knowing or thinking these things was one thing, but I didn’t want friends and family to know how bad things seemed or to connect with my negative thoughts. From the start of this week I have begun to return from my downward slide. The tiredness vanished. Also the shivers and coldness disappeared. The violent coughing with the help of a course of steroids has been reduced to a tickle. I am walking Skipper once again, even in the wind. Things I thought I would never do again, I am now engaging in as if I had never stopped. Throughout my entire ordeal of lung cancer I never stopped telling myself that I would get the better of it. I found strength I did not know I had. Throughout chemotherapy and radiation treatment, I told myself that every step I took was one more step along the road to full health once again. That practice worked I am sure. However, the side effects of the radiation and probably the chemo combined did prove a much harder nut for me to crack. I have been surrounded by wonderful nurses, doctors and consultants which have been a great help. Of course towering above all of them has been my wife Barbara. This last year has probably been even more difficult for her than it was for me. I am so grateful to have sailed through the worst storm of my life. They say that the tail end of a hurricane can be worse than the actual hurricane itself. Well, if cancer was the hurricane then yes in my case I would prefer to deal with its head any time. Life might not be a bed of roses for you at present; I am sure most of you have had your ups and downs. What I have learnt though over the course of the last year is, no matter how bad things are, no matter how hopeless life seems, no matter how dank and dark your situation appears, if you don’t have the physical strength to literally put one foot in front of the other, then at least think of getting better, even if its only in your mind. Remember, your darkest hour, is your darkest hour, it can only get brighter once it has past. Yes, life can be cruel, it often is. However, there is a lot of truth in that old saying. “You have to be cruel to be kind.” Sometimes life needs to be cruel for a period to enable us to learn difficult lessons, and go on to appreciate life in a much more fulfilling way than we might have done had we not suffered a misfortune. Believe me, once you have sailed through a severe storm, a calm sea is something you will never take for granted ever again.

Tom Glassey, on the banks of the Silverburn River.