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Local News Headlines In 2008


bluemonday

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1. Every single living creature on Isle of Man wins prestigious award for something. ( Manx Government )

2. Steam Packet is best ferry firm in the universe ( SP Press Release )

3. Isle of Man most visited place in the world ( Tourist Board Press Release )

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"Government agree to part fund Queen's Pier Project"

 

After years of debate, the Government unanimously agreed to part fund the refurbishment of the Queen's Pier in Ramsey. The project will be undertaken by group of local contractors who have submitted the most realistic tender. It is expected to be completed ahead of schedule and within budget.

 

The remainder of the funding has been put up by a local gay pride organisation who will be building a gay only hotel and night club complex on the pier. The new hotel is expected to attract people from all over the UK, Ireland and beyond. The openly gay establishment is expected to contribute significantly to the economy in Ramsey, and tourism in general.

 

A spokesman for Gay pride said, "One of our members came up with the suggestion for the gay hotel on Queen's pier, we all thought it was a goood idea."

 

A contest will be held by new radio station Gaydio, to help gay pride name the new hotel. The winner will receive a brand new pink moped provided by Gaydio. Anyone with a suggestion for a name should send it (on a pink card) to Gaydio by 31 March. The name will be selected, and the winner announced on 01 April.

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Peel Seeks Independence

 

Ramsey to Close

 

Steam Packet to Build Irish Sea Tunnel

 

Old People in Angry Outbursts as TV Signal is Switched Off

 

All Island Speed Limit Back on Agenda

 

All Island Speed Limit Abandoned as Public Say NO

 

Ramsey To Open Again (But Only on Tuesdays)

 

Peel Army Invades St Johns

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Misplaced shoe discovered under bed,

 

Mass panic caused by Paul Speller's creepy eyes,

 

Peter Karran interrupts school play to raise issue, accuses small child of complacency and of living in a land of make believe

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Peter Karran interrupts school play to raise issue, accuses small child of complacency and of living in a land of make believe

Or... interrupts advent play to ask whether or not the innkeeper has unoccupied rooms reserved for government employees.

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Norman Wisdom dies at 88. Island mourns bloke that did fuck all for IOM except dodge his taxes.

MHK has a new child with a disability. Coach contract reopened.

Run of the mill ferry operator gets monopoly for TT transport.

Government shuts all tourism sites outside Douglas.

New prison blown away.

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