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blue kipper

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What happened when Jesus went to Mount Olive?

Popeye kicked the fekk out of him!

 

David Hasselhoff wanders into a Glasgow pub..........and the barman says: "What can I get you, Mr. Hasselhoff?"

"A cold beer would be great," he replies, "but please, just call me Hoff."

"Okay Hoff," says the barman, "nae Hassel."

 

Or how about the dyslexic devil-worshipper?

He sold his soul to Santa...

 

 

What's the difference between

a girlfriend and wife?

About 3 stone!

 

What's the difference between

a boyfriend and husband?

About 45 minutes!

 

Why do women find it hard to find a man who's sensitive, caring and understanding?

Those men have already all got boyfriends!

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