(no)food For Less

[germann]

We need Sainsburys!

[Addie]

It's not unusual for one or more of the freezers to be on the blink and for a pool of rusty water to have gathered on the floor in the aisle (which may or may not have a sign next to it to warn people of the fact).

Oh dear. It wouldn't do to expect people to look where they're bloody well walking then, would it?

 

I was walking in our local supermarket and fell into a ten foot high display of cornflakes that had been carelessly left in the aisle. There wasn't a notice advising me of this dangerous obstruction. I fell headlong into one of the empty Iceland freezers and lay there like a stranded whale in agony groaning for quite five seconds before an injury-lawyers-for-you-ambulance-chaser appeared as if by magic and took numerous photos of my prone and potentially broken body before whisking me off to his office to sign his no-win-no-fee agreement.

 

I got paid out £15,000 so can sit on my new leather sofa and watch daytime 1000 inch LCD TV for another six months without having to get off my arse. After that? WIGIG

[Deejay Denzel]

My friend tried to walk out of the doors but walked straight into them and sprained his forehead.

Some little hitler came over and said "can't you read?" my friend said to him that he could not see any writing on the doors and the glass was extremely clean.

 

The hitler pointed out 2 red circles (one per door) with white stripes through them, he said these mean no entry just like the road signs.

 

My friend said he wasn't a driver so didn't know what the signs mean't

He was exiting the building and therefore "no entry" didn't apply to him

The doors didn't open as the sensor was on the other side

He offered to pay for the cleaning fee for forehead marks on the door