Jump to content

A Manxman On A Plate Of Fish And Chips?


manxchatterbox

Recommended Posts

No need for death penalty, just England's taxes

 

By Mike Seate

TRIBUNE-REVIEW

 

Reading the crime pages in local newspapers is not exactly a must-do vacation activity. But in some places, the term crime has a different meaning compared to what we see here in the 'Burgh.

Take my recent trip to the Isle of Man, for example. This tiny island nation located on a craggy piece of limestone between Scotland and Ireland has one of the lowest crime rates in all of Europe, a fact reflected in the constable's docket section of the local newspapers.

 

"Just days before the annual lawn bowling tournament, weed killer has been doused on the Nobles Park Green, staining it with unsightly brown patches. Police were called," read one.

 

In the island's quaint capitol city of Douglas, a local version of a crime spree amounted to the following: A disabled driver's I.D. badge was stolen from a car; a local man was being sought after punching a pub window, possibly breaking his hand, and on May 26, "windows of a public toilet were broken and toilet seats and soap dispensers ripped off their moorings."

 

Tragedies all, to be sure, but clearly indicative of a world where drive-by shootings, street corner crack dealing and kids shooting at cops seem like plots from some bad American TV program.

 

A few of the island's 70,000 residents explained why the sort of serious crime that makes life back home so interesting is largely absent here. The Isle of Man is considered something of a tax haven for U.K. residents, with a 10 percent income tax, the lowest in all the British Isles. (For the record, the Isle of Man is a dependent self-governing territory of the British Crown, but not part of the United Kingdom.)

 

In the few instances when locals are caught committing a serious crime, the authorities deal with them in the cruelest way imaginable -- offenders are exiled to mainland England where income taxes can run as high as 52 percent.

 

The threat of high taxes is enough of a deterrent that the main criminal court in Douglas is open only one day every two weeks, locals say.

 

If any American prosecutors are reading this, take heart. Though exiling criminals isn't an option here, just imagine if we could subject them to their worst fears like the Manx courts do.

 

If Pittsburghers committing violent crimes were sent to, say a steel plant in Gary, Ind., where they'd be forced to actually work instead of steal for a living, I bet the local crime rate would drop faster than a Manxman on a plate of fish and chips.

 

And with criminals doing jobs rather than time, we'd all save enough tax money to take our own British vacations.

 

..but who supplies the fish and chips? which is the best chippy?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

LOL! Best thing I've read for a long time, still laughing now. :D

 

"In the few instances when locals are caught committing a serious crime, the authorities deal with them in the cruelest way imaginable -- offenders are exiled to mainland England where income taxes can run as high as 52 percent..." :lol:

 

And the Harbourside in Port St Mary supplies the best Fish and Chips! :rolleyes:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

He can't have been here, otherwise he'd know it was chips cheese and gravy, not fish and chips!

 

Mike Seate has been here for the TT for the last two years, I did a TV interview with him in 2004 for the American motorsport program "Speed". He's quite a character and loved our fish and chips but he couldn't understand our liking for mushy peas, I told them they were simialr to that crappy American dish known as "Grits" but that they tasted one hell of a lot better.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...