Newsbot Posted October 11, 2006 Share Posted October 11, 2006 The Isle of Man Constabulary receives 340 applications in a recruitment drive for officers. Source : http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/rss/-/1/hi/world/...man/6040124.stm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lonan3 Posted October 11, 2006 Share Posted October 11, 2006 "Okay... you're patrolling, in a car, along Douglas Promenade and you see a serious fight getting started. What do you do?" "I whip out a pastie and take a bite...." "That's okay... you're hired!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigDave Posted October 11, 2006 Share Posted October 11, 2006 The advanced police driving tests are also required and will be measured by a timed lap from the police station to the terrace chippy. In this instance "timing" is measured in the temperature of the chips. A time bonus may be awarded for free onion rings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mission Posted October 11, 2006 Share Posted October 11, 2006 Aww, they gave Newsbot an avatar. Ace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TerryMcCann Posted October 11, 2006 Share Posted October 11, 2006 I'm sensing a lot of love and respect for the filth police here. Keep it up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5-demerits Posted October 11, 2006 Share Posted October 11, 2006 I wonder how many applications where local and how many where off island ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lonan3 Posted October 11, 2006 Share Posted October 11, 2006 The advanced police driving tests are also required and will be measured by a timed lap from the police station to the terrace chippy. In this instance "timing" is measured in the temperature of the chips. A time bonus may be awarded for free onion rings. Excellent idea! (Are flashing blue lights and sirens allowed?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Albert Tatlock Posted October 11, 2006 Share Posted October 11, 2006 I got hold of an application form... Joining the police force is easy, just fill in this brief application form and deliver it to your nearest recruiting office or police station. Name: DOB: Address: Postcode: Sex: Male/Female Race: White Previous criminal convictions: (continue on seperate page if necessary.) Finally, complete this sentence: "I am not a racist, but..." Signed: Date: Sucessful applicants will join a fast track training scheme which will also be featured in an upcoming television documentary. We are an equal opportunities employer, and do not discriminate on the basis of intelligence, ability or personal politics. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lonan3 Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 What? No questions about wearing silly aprons, exposing left nipple etc? What is the force coming to? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amadeus Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 They might need more manpower - according to the new police report, last year 2 cases of Bigamy, 1 Abstraction of Electricity, and 1 Raising of a False Fire Alarm were recorded - oh, and 684 cases of criminal damage to a motor vehicle... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thebees Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 You are fogetting the wheelie bin fires, and the terrible milk thefts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digga Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 oh, and 684 cases of criminal damage to a motor vehicle... Blimey I wouldn't like to own that car Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Juan Kerr Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 You are fogetting the wheelie bin fires, and the terrible milk thefts. I believe that they are bringing in a crack team from Liverpool to hunt down the "Milk Baron" with the 60 pint a day habit. Its disgusting that we have to put up with such vicious crimes on this Island. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TerryMcCann Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 You are fogetting the wheelie bin fires, and the terrible milk thefts. I believe that they are bringing in a crack team from Liverpool to hunt down the "Milk Baron" with the 60 pint a day habit. Its disgusting that we have to put up with such vicious crimes on this Island. A photo of the suspect has been issued Crazy Fool Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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