Bible Bashers On Douglas Prom

[Albert Tatlock]

For those who have not yet found religeon, and are looking for something more suited to themsleves - try one of these Unusual Churches.

 

There is everything from 'The Church Of Googlism' to 'The First Church of Bowling'.

[Albert Tatlock]

ALBERT TATLOCK HAS THE MAGIC TWIGS...

 

People, stop bitching for thou art SAVED. Saved I tell thee. For Albert, the Saint of Departed Soap Characters has trod verily on the plantations of South Barrule bringing succour and relief to the Ramblers and Mountainbikers and the Magic Twigs have appeared to him like the Word of Dog.

 

For as it is written in the Book of Minnie Caldwell, Magic Twigs will make a fire to consume all the evils of mankind. Unless they are fat twigs which go white in the sun and make a mess of your Goretex skids.

 

Follow, follow Albert. His name shall be spoken in hushed tongues by the Sons of Dog henceforward and ever unto Erin.

Great! I have one follower already. I've just knocked up my ten commandments (subject to revision), which you better obey or risk eternal damnation tied to a fat bird.

 

1. Though shalt give me 25% of whatever thy earn or have saved and send it to the Bank of Switzerland A/C no 1234567 - (Thou shalt receive a 1% deduction when thy shalt use a direct debit).

2. Thou shalt, while facing North by North West, each and every morning and evening, bang thy head against a brick wall or a hard floor.

3. Thou shalt maintain a messy desk.

4. Thou shalt use computers to look busy.

5. Thou shalt not kill people thou like

6. Thou shalt cover thy ugly neighbours wife.

7. Thou shalt buy the first round

8. Thou shalt buy the second round

9. Thou shalt buy the kebabs

10. Thou shalt pay for the taxi home

[shoepatshoe]

Oh my god!! Is 'your sense of humour' the first thing you have to sacrifice when you join your church!!!

 

In my experience a very quick way to provoke a fight is to mock the religion of others.

Sometimes the fight can get out of hand. Why dont you try some of your jokes in Derry or Belfast?

Its not funny ....really.

 

EXACTLY!! You've just stated what is the issue here. Why does everybody in the whole world have to tiptoe about when the subject of religion comes up? Because the offended person is likely to kill you, that's why!!

 

It's ridiculous, and I'm with Albert Tatlock on this one - if we can't all have a good anonymous laugh at these people on a Forum like this, where can we do it? The point is, Mormons, Jehovahs Witnesses, Muslims, Christians, and every other religion ALL have people that follow them that will not tolerate a bad word said about their beliefs!! And everybody is expected to just accept that?

 

My girlfriend believes Eastenders is REALLY good and I think its a load of old crap and regularly take the piss out of it and the fact that she likes it. She hasn't once attacked me or set herself on fire for her cause! She supports Arsenal and I support Liverpool, we regularly rib each other about that but it never gets violent.

 

And thats the point, we don't accept football fans who take it too far and start fighting. They are branded thugs and have their passports taken off them. By all means - be a Mormon, just keep it to yourself and out of my face, and next time Liverpool score I promise not to run into your living room, jump onto your sofa and scream, "YEEEEEESSSSSSSS" in your face.

 

And in answer to your point loneWolf - no I wouldn't try it in Belfast because I would get my head kicked in. But do I think that's right and a reason not to think religious fanatics need poking fun at? Not at all.

[Albert Tatlock]

...and next time Liverpool score I promise not to run into your living room, jump onto your sofa and scream, "YEEEEEESSSSSSSS" in your face.

I think DjDan is busy 6 months 3 weeks next Saturday.

[josie kelly]

I now worship Richard Dawkins - oh, the irony!

[shoepatshoe]

...and next time Liverpool score I promise not to run into your living room, jump onto your sofa and scream, "YEEEEEESSSSSSSS" in your face.

I think DjDan is busy 6 months 3 weeks next Saturday.

 

Right THAT'S IT! Just for that I'm going to strap fireworks to myself and martyr myself outside your front door.

[TerryMcCann]

Mormons -

 

1. They are Americans - explains nearly everything.

 

2. (Mind you, we are expected to believe in virgin births, resurrection, arks, and miracles).

 

3. No mention of America in the Bible so they decided to fit themselves into the story.

 

4. Joseph Smith finds tablet of stone in wood with a 'new' version to explain 3. above

 

5. As if.....

 

6. Con-man cons gullible Americans, desperate for some history of their own and to be included in the book they foolishly live by.

 

7. They are Americans

 

Dan. Why haven't you responded to this one? Are you waiting for the good lord to give you answers?

[sarahc]

This even worst than being told Santa doesnt exist.

 

You lie! Infidel!

[ramsea]

Wasnt Santa just another thing the americans made up?

 

For the record, Father Christmas does exist, my mummy told me so it must be true.

[Amadeus]

For the record, Father Christmas does exist, my mummy told me so it must be true.

You mean did exist?

 

[ramsea]

For the record, Father Christmas does exist, my mummy told me so it must be true.

You mean did exist?

 

lmao, I mean, noooooooooo gutted...means Im gonna have to buy the bleeding kids their christmas pressies this year...damn airplane!

[LoneWolf]

It's ridiculous, and I'm with Albert Tatlock on this one - if we can't all have a good anonymous laugh at these people on a Forum like this, where can we do it? The point is, Mormons, Jehovahs Witnesses, Muslims, Christians, and every other religion ALL have people that follow them that will not tolerate a bad word said about their beliefs!! And everybody is expected to just accept that?

 

Yes, everyone is expected to just accept that. We have a long standing tradition of tolerance in this part of the world. Embedded in that paradigm [tolerance] is a strong consensus that people should be free to follow their own belief system / religion without being held up to ridicule, without being villified, without having to defend what may or may not appear nonsense to others.

We hear a lot about local culture on this forum. Well, so there is no mistake on this matter, the paradigm of religious tolerance iis very much a central part of our culture.

 

And thats the point, we don't accept football fans who take it too far and start fighting. They are branded thugs and have their passports taken off them. By all means - be a Mormon, just keep it to yourself and out of my face, and next time Liverpool score I promise not to run into your living room, jump onto your sofa and scream, "YEEEEEESSSSSSSS" in your face.

You really do not understand the point here Im afraid. There is no case for claiming a religious belief is analogous to being a football fan. The point is badly made, grossly inappropriate and reveals a shocking lack of percepetion.

 

And in answer to your point loneWolf - no I wouldn't try it in Belfast because I would get my head kicked in. But do I think that's right and a reason not to think religious fanatics need poking fun at? Not at all.

You are right in so much as you would get your head kicked in. If I understand you correctly you are saying you recognise your opinions are offensive but, being a coward, you would prefer to make them [your opinions] known only in situations where you feel a violent reaction is unlikely. You will need to add a few more locations to your list of "speak no evil" places. For example, in Liverpool or Glasgow you might also find yourself on the receiving end of an unwanted fist or headbutt !

You should be safe enough bullying young Mormon Missionaries though. Think about it.

[DjDan]

I think it would be a good idea to direct DjDan - and anyone else who is interested in the LDS (Mormons) to THIS PAGE and see if there are any answers to such matters as:

 

(blah, blah, blah - emhasis added)

 

There. That ought to keep the b*****d occupied for a while!

(I hate proselytizing religions!)

 

Lonan, I appreciate your excitement at finding yourself some anti-mormon literature... (such stuff is very hard to find i know) but that hardly goes to prove anything. It's not the first time i've heard the claims, and it won't be the last. I've studied much anti-mormon literature out of amusement and actively debated on anti-mormon websites but I'm bored with it all now. I'm hardly going to spend my time responding to your posting because 1. when I explain everything to you, you won't really care.. therefore it'll be a waste of my time and 2. you won't want to believe it anyway.

 

One thing i'll reveal to you: When an anti-mormon writes an article, what you get is part-truths mixed with lies and exaggerations. That's why with all the time they spend trying to find something credible to destroy the church.... they still fail.

[mojomonkey]

Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people.

[DjDan]

May I just make it clear to you... in our church there is NO PAID CLERGY. That means no church leader gets paid, and neither do the misionaries. Clearly then... it's not for the money OR the numbers.

 

Just a question DjDan ... Is it or is it not true that:

"Today all faithful members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints contribute one tenth of their income as tithing."

Because if they do the leaders of the church have a very strong interest in getting a many converts as possible. To ignore the monetery incentive this gives for prosletizing is nieve in the extreme.

 

You say no church leader gets paid. I presume this is an honest statement, but are you also saying there are no perks attached with being a leader in the church. No church houses, furnished to be lived in, no church funded meals, or transport etc etc.

 

Yes, we give 10% of our earnings as tithing (see the Bible) but this money is for the progression of the church in churches, temples and general finance for magazines, teaching materials etc. etc. It does NOT go into the back pocket of ANY church leader. I appreciate that in other churches the minister is sometimes allowed to take a portion of the offerings... but that is not the case in our church. Every penny is accounted for every week, and if there is anything wrong in the accounting, a church leader may be removed from his position.

 

There are some positions of leadership in the church where they will be provided for in terms of meals, transport etc. but that is merely to maintain the work they do. An example of this is the missionaries. Though they themselves donate money towards the work, meals and transport, and living places will be financed for by the church. However, that is entirely different to receiving "payment".

 

Quite simply.. and in all truth, we have no paid clergy. The local bishop on the island is a fulltime accountant and that is where he earns his money. The work he does for the church... he doesn't recieve a penny.