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xbones

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Paging Amadeus! Do any pubs on the island serve German beer on draught? I feel I might suffer Licher withdrawal symptoms over Xmas :(

If you're lucky, then the Regency might still have Warsteiner on tab in the bar - doubt you'll find anyone selling Licher, though..

 

Outback does Warsteiner and Erdinger - only bottles, though...]

 

They have Erdinger on tap in The Railway, and Veltins.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Finally paid a visit. No, that's not true, because I was in before Christmas, but I was very drunk then.

 

That night, it was rammed, and the crowd served two useful purposes - one, to keep me from falling over and two, to hide from view all the goddamn wretched artfully random aren't-we-quirky decor and the f*cking Jack Vettriani reprints.

 

On my repeat visit - daylight, sober - I tried the 'food'. Well I tried to try the food. I picked a pie from the menu. They said there was none left. I chose a 'torpedo' (NB if the common sandwich mutates into something with a poncey name - wrap, sub, torpedo, paganini (sic), it's always going to be shite) and they brought the wrong one. I say 'brought', but I had to go to the hatch - twice - like f*cking Oliver Twist, after a 'bing-bong' alert so GAY I thought John Inman was going to leap out dressed as a trolley dolley with my torpedo wrapped in a paper doiley between his bum cheeks.

 

Anyway. This crime against sandwichery was a lozenge shaped stale white bap with some tasteless grated cheese and plain old Branston. My heart sinks when I see the menu say 'Manx cheese' - wholesome, tasty, the cheese of patriots! - like that's a selling point, because it isn't. It's bland, rubbery shite. I don't care if my cheese comes from a dairy on Saturn as long as it tastes of something more than blu-tack.

Add to this some broken nachos with no salsa (just, inexplicably, a thimble of coleslaw) and a side salad a slug wouldn't be able to see if it crawled over it, and voila! there was lunch. At, what was it now, £5.95? Call me old-fashioned, but that sucks harder than a horny Dyson. I should be kind and say, oh well, give them a chance, perhaps it was an off-day, but we're talking about a sandwich for the love of christ! I've made better at four in the morning when I could hardly distinguish between the toaster and the washing machine!

 

All the thought has obviously gone into the speciality beers (check out the narrative that goes with each one - and they say wine bars are pretentious!), which is all well and good, but I couldn't afford to drink more than one or two of those a night anyway and I especially wouldn't want to if it comes in one of my grandma's old vases (woo-hoo! They've got SPECIAL glasses! Exciting stuff indeed but they won't keep the emperor warm, will they?).

Anyway, if beer is the thing, then why not scrap the dismal food altogether or just have simple bowls of chips or something (which would at least go with the Belgian beers). It's the Brewery's same old half-baked scrimbling around, trying to be all things to all wallets and satisfying nobody.

 

But other than that it was great.

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... after a 'bing-bong' alert so GAY I thought John Inman was going to leap out dressed as a trolley dolley with my torpedo wrapped in a paper doiley between his bum cheeks.

 

That image is going to haunt me. :lol:

Ever thought of a career as a restaurant reviewer?

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