The Dead Duck

[blue kipper]

A woman takes her duck to the vet, slighly concerned that it hasn't shown any signs of life for a few days. She is invited into the consultation room and says to the vet: "Please could you have a look at my duck. He sometimes goes to sleep for a whole day or two but I've never known him sleep this long."

 

The vet obliges and checks the heartbeat of the duck with his stethoscope, feels the wings and gently turns the duck over a few times. Finally he says "I'm sorry madam, but I think your duck is dead."

 

"He can't be" says the woman. "I want a second opinion."

 

"Very well" says the vet, and he leaves the room, re-appearing moments later with a cat. The cat jumps up onto the operating table, sniffs the duck a few times then jumps back onto the floor and shakes its head.

 

"There we have it madam" says the vet. "The cat has clearly indicated that your duck is dead. I'm sorry."

 

The woman however is unimpressed. "How can you possibly use a cat to determine whether or not the duck is dead? I demand a further opinion."

 

"Very well," replies the vet "But this is the last time."

 

Once again he leaves the room but this time comes back with a labrador, which gets onto the table, picks the duck up in its mouth, paws at its beak for a while then jumps to the floor shaking its head.

 

"I am truly sorry, madam" says the vet. "But the duck is dead."

 

"Surely there is something else you can try?" she asks.

 

"I'm afraid not. You've had the cat scan and the lab report and that is all I can do."

[Hudu]

That joke was good in the eighties.

 

Just like Everton.