Lonan3 Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 BERNARD MANNING Love him or loathe him, he was just about the last of his kind - a throwback to the days when it didn't matter who or what the joke was about, as long as it made you laugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beavercheese Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 Yes, back when political correctness actually meant not invading the wrong country ! To be fair, he had his cringe moments and often took it the edge of comedy acceptance. But I still far prefer a FUNNY joke which involves a Rabbi, a midget, an Irishman and an English bloke more than listening to some militant bi-sexual man hating bint ranting on about how she bleeds once a month and how sensitive that should make me feel etc etc! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
integer Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 Yep, he was a bit near the knuckle at times but at least he had the balls to stick to who he was. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
When Skies Are Grey Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 So Bernard Manning has been ill in hospital and has now died....ROG hasnt posted on here for a while....coincidence non?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Albert Tatlock Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 One of my favourite Bernard Manning jokes: Husband: Wooohoooo! I've won the lottery - pack your bags! Wife: What shall I pack - for hot weather or cooler? Husband: Who cares - just pack your bags and **** off! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beavercheese Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 Here's a couple more of his overly offensive and apparently all he ever stood for racist jokes... "I'm glad I'm not bisexual; I couldn't stand being rejected by men as well as women." "I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ans Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 The comedian Bernard Manning has been pronounced dead at Manchester Hospital. His condition is described as satisfactory Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
asitis Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 Been to his club, at least a third of the audience were other than white, they were rolling in the aisles !! You know why a lot of people hated BM, because a lot of his jokes represent the truth about society. Wherever he is be it hot or cold it will be a funnier place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stu Peters Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 Bernard Manning relied on an audience to bounce off - I remember being invited to The Embassy Club once with my new in-laws and trying to shrink in my seat so he didn't pick on me - but like the rest of the crowd was soon in fits of laughter. I heard a tale years later about how that backfired on him though. He'd just started his act at (IIRC) the Warren Club in Bredbury and was picking on audience members when a bloke stood up near the front of the stage. The audience hushed in anticipation - this was a real kamikaze thing to do at a BM gig. Sure enough, Bernard accosted the bloke with a 'and where the f*ck do yer think YOU'RE going?" to which the bloke replied "for a quick piss before the comic comes on". Evidently it was a new heckle that left BM floored, and he cut the act short. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stavros Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 Oh dear, first the turkeys and now Bernard Manning! Stav. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Albert Tatlock Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 Another couple of his: Hear about the first Jewish Kamikaze pilot? ...crashed his plane into his brothers scrapyard. I was driving the other day and crashed straight up the arse of the car in front of me. I couldn't see the driver...and then suddenly this dwarf got out. He insisted we exchange details, so I said to the dwarf that I didn't have my insurance details with me. So the dwarf said "I'm not happy" - so I said "which ****ing one are you then?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
b4mbi Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 very funny Albert must try to remember those for the pub tonight! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shill Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 The one I remember was just after the Falklands war he did a show and said "I see we have some soldiers from the conflict in tonight" The audience then gave massive cheers. Manning then times it perfectly by saying "They're Argentinians" Never really got on with his style of comedy but I cant deny he had brilliant comic timing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Albert Tatlock Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 Another couple: Bloke is at the supermarket checkout. On the conveyer belt he's got one sausage, one rasher of bacon, one bread roll, one egg, one tomato etc. Bird on the checkout looks at him and says cheekily,"Ooh you must be a single man." Bloke thinks he's in here and says, "Why how can you tell?" "Because you're a fucking ugly cunt." Yorkshire couple go to Majorca for their first holiday abroad. Being typical Brits abroad, they don't trust the local food, and as it's a Sunday they start cooking a roast dinner. Unfortunately they've forgotten the gravy granules, so Maureen says to Geoffrey: "I'm sure the couple next door are English, go and ask them if they've got some" So off he goes, knocks on the door, and sure enough a bloke in Union Jack shorts opens the door: Geoffrey asks politely: "Hast thou any Bisto??" The bloke says: "Fuck off you Spanish twat" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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