Emergency Traffic Measures At Ronaldsway

[copycat]

are they called Heckler & Cock?

[Grumble]

No, you're the heckler and cock, an imprecise Manx tool.

 

That's a Heckler and Koch, a precise German weapon.

[Roger Smelly]

Even bush is sick of the isle of man's attempts to be a world player.

 

[Millman]

So what have we learnt so far:

 

1. Manx terrorists attacking the airport with 4x4s are totally defeated by a row of cones and a speed bump.

 

2. If not the Manx police force will open fire on the gas canister filled car with machine guns. Thus blowing themselves and everything else to kingdom come.

 

3. The Isle of Man is a major terrorist target, with Bin Laden sitting in his cave hatching endless plots to destroy us.

 

4. Culverhouse is a useless self promoting pompous muppet sitting in his cave endlessly thinking up ways to big up his budget.

 

5. Any plot to sink the Steam packet boat would be moot as they are quite capable of sinking their own boats.

 

6. This alert will give those w**kers in airport security a massive hard on as they get to be even more petty and over officious than usual.

 

7. We should all probably panic buy and empty Tescos in case food runs out. Then we should go home sit under the stairs in terror, while waiting for the emergency siren system to go off, which won't happen because it never works properly. We should then tune into Manx radio for news as to when its all clear (or until it special brand of condescendingly advert filled banality drives so insane we drive a gas cannister filled 4x4 up to Douglas head to blow them up).

 

Thank heavens for common sense, eh.

[Lonan3]

So what have we learnt so far:

 

4. Culverhouse is a useless self promoting pompous muppet sitting in his cave endlessly thinking up ways to big up his budget.

 

We already knew that.

 

Let's be honest, we're never going to become a target until the Tourist Board manage to raise our profile sufficiently for people to know that we exist.

[Millman]

So what have we learnt so far:

 

4. Culverhouse is a useless self promoting pompous muppet sitting in his cave endlessly thinking up ways to big up his budget.

 

We already knew that.

 

Let's be honest, we're never going to become a target until the Tourist Board manage to raise our profile sufficiently for people to know that we exist.

What I suggest is that we pay a mountain of money to contract an amazingly expensive marketing firm to create a "Brand" for the Isle of Man that would be more appealing to terrorists. Then the newly renamed Tourist Terrorist Board could try and explain why after all of this we still aren't attracting any terrorists.

[Speckled Frost]

To be honest, I've never understood why terrorists don't carry out a series of small scale attacks in quaint coastal or market towns and villages across GB.

If you target places like Ashby-de-la-zouch, Wilford, Port Erin, Cheddington, Calandar, Hawick, Ilfracombe, etc, that would strike fear into the heart of the UK. There would then truly be a sense of no one being safe anywhere.

 

Everyone expects London, Glasgow, Manchester , Birmingham, ets to be targeted leaving us on the outskirts feeling really rather secure, only having to worry about our holidays and traffic chaos.

 

Don't want to give them ideas mind.

[Cambon]

I need to get gas for my BBQ on the way home. I am now more worried about being shot at by the police as I go past the airport than I an of terrorists! Maybe I will just buy a charcoal BBQ until the police terror threat passes!

[WTF]

as 80% of the airport perimiter is only a sod hedge or 4 ft stone wall with a bit of a wire fence just inside, turning the front of the main building into fort knox is a mute display. even the public coastal path is within a stones throw of the end of the runway. any chuckle head with an RPG could ground a plane from king bills driveway or the footpath. its all bollox to make the government look important and prepared for terrorist attack. any self respecting terrorist would know this place aint worth a toss in the grand scheme of world politics. why bomb where your money is?? the fact is now there are guns at ronaldsway! where as before there weren't?? you will probably get shot for not displaying your parking disc.......

[Silentbob]

I think we officially closed our doors to terrorist banking a while ago, although I am sure there are still a few accounts laying about.

 

Osama bin Jones

Rob bin Ladenshire

etc etc

 

As fo rthe Isle of Man being a target, we are an independant government who (up to now) have managed not to get sucked into Bush's arse, so I think we are quite low on their agendas.

[WTF]

As fo rthe Isle of Man being a target, we are an independant government who (up to now) have managed not to get sucked into Bush's arse, so I think we are quite low on their agendas.

 

 

 

more likely pushed out of bush's arse

[Cambon]

I think we officially closed our doors to terrorist banking a while ago, although I am sure there are still a few accounts laying about.

 

Osama bin Jones

Rob bin Ladenshire

etc etc

 

As fo rthe Isle of Man being a target, we are an independant government who (up to now) have managed not to get sucked into Bush's arse, so I think we are quite low on their agendas.

 

But surely the more we tow the british line the more we appear to be up Bush's ass. I mean. We have all this airport hype now and in Dublin you can literally take a half empty bottle of water through security.

[homarus]

So what have we learnt so far:

 

4. Culverhouse is a useless self promoting pompous muppet sitting in his cave endlessly thinking up ways to big up his budget.

 

We already knew that.

 

Let's be honest, we're never going to become a target until the Tourist Board manage to raise our profile sufficiently for people to know that we exist.

What I suggest is that we pay a mountain of money to contract an amazingly expensive marketing firm to create a "Brand" for the Isle of Man that would be more appealing to terrorists. Then the newly renamed Tourist Terrorist Board could try and explain why after all of this we still aren't attracting any terrorists.

 

Great idea!

We could have different ministers in charge of different aspects of terrorism

Such as,John Rimingtonminister in charge of training ,hand to hand combat?

Phil Gawne ,minister in charge of incendiary and explosion?[previous experience always comes in handy] .

[cheeky boy]

We could always create our own bogus terrorist attack as a way of raising the Island's profile internationally

 

Sort of "Freedom to Flame us" or "You'll look forward to blowing up"

 

Wouldn't have to be anything spectacular like 911, just let off a few bangers on Tynwald day or maybe kidnap the Chief Minister and shave his Zapata moustache off

[homarus]

We could always create our own bogus terrorist attack as a way of raising the Island's profile internationally

 

Sort of "Freedom to Flame us" or "You'll look forward to blowing up"

 

Wouldn't have to be anything spectacular like 911, just let off a few bangers on Tynwald day or maybe kidnap the Chief Minister and shave his Zapata moustache off

The question is ,if you did kidnap him would anybody notice?.I'd go with the bangers, under Phil Gawnes supervision, it would create more of a stir,also from a safety viewpoint Phil knows what he's doing.!