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Achtung!


Albert Tatlock

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New Douglas by-laws are planned - (and in order to avoid any unnecessary debate - the corpy say you have to inspect or buy the list of new by-laws at the Town Hall!).

 

New Douglas by-laws planned: Basically - the litter and dog-sh1t police now officially incorporate the smoke police (and the beer police - effectively stopping people having a pint outside when the smoke ban comes in).

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(and in order to avoid any unnecessary debate - the corpy say you have to inspect or buy the list of new by-laws at the Town Hall!).

Which is exactly what I tried to do today - but with rather limited success...

 

Was just curious to have a look at the proposed new laws and stopped by town hall. Asked nicely at the counter and sort of immediately knew that I was probably the first to ask for a copy of them, as phone calls had to be made to find out what it was and where I could get it.

 

Turns out I couldn't get it at all: Apparently, the document with the proposed new bye-laws for inspection by the public has to be approved first (or something along those lines) and that hasn't happened yet, so they don't actually have one, meaning I can't have one. Appears like a well organised place...

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Maybe Martin can help us out by putting Douglas Corp in charge of events at his brewery for a week or so, would certainly give us all a chuckle. In fact, it might be a nice little sideline for him. He could arrange beer tasting evenings to take place every month, and charge govenrment department heads a 'training' fee to attend and organize each event.

 

Upon a successful gathering, they would be awarded a certificate to indicate that they can indeed organize a pissup in a brewery.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Wuhu!

 

Douglas Corporation’s Bylaw Review Goes Online

 

Douglas Corporation is reviewing and updating its bylaws and making them available for public consultation.

 

And here they are: ClickMeDoForLaw

 

No stinkbombs, no selling condoms in the street, no urinating, and defo no loitering at church doors. I guess loitering at town hall doors is ok then, or is that classed as a "place of public worship"? Oh - and loads of dog shit in there, too, although it doesn't specify the colour...

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Douglas Corpy to solve -

 

dog turd, drink, litter, parking, smoking, shopping, public transport, entertainment, living, working, MER, Steam railway, Horse Tram, Bottle neck carpark, TT beer tent, North Quay, South Quay, Bus Terminal -

problems in one go.

 

.. by making the place so bloody inhospitible, nobody wants to live, work - or even travel through the place for fear of being nabbed by the thought/smoke/shit/litter/parking/walking/running/breathing police.

 

Shitehawks move in and claim it as theirs, all the empty buildings become one encrusted mound of shitehawk poo and they start to breed and become super shitehawks. The BBC will come over and do a documentry on Kippers and giant Shitehawks. It will feature the yearly trek of all the worlds Shitehawks to the one 'leader' - a giant £35,000 plastic effigy on the once quay side in Douglas.

 

Meanwhile, workers in the town hall are kept captive in a breading program, to use as food for the ever increasing shitehawk population, till one day (maybe soon) they take over the world.

 

.. probably.

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New Douglas by-laws are planned - (and in order to avoid any unnecessary debate - the corpy say you have to inspect or buy the list of new by-laws at the Town Hall!).

 

New Douglas by-laws planned: Basically - the litter and dog-sh1t police now officially incorporate the smoke police (and the beer police - effectively stopping people having a pint outside when the smoke ban comes in).

 

 

It may be in preparation for appoinment of new Town Clerk and Chief Executive-salary £70,023-£77,808 per annum.

 

It would be embarassing to have dozens of old bye-laws on the books that are not enforced.

 

Also they have a contract with ENCAMS formerly Keep Britain Tidy who may have told them to enforce some of their litter laws- only to find they were out of date.

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