Jehoavh Witness's Idiocy

[MarcusAurelius]

Go to www.blood.co.uk or google infected blood transfusion - you'll find plenty of evidence if you can be bothered to look, instead of just making statistics up in your head.

 

For proofs that negate and argue against much of what is written in scripture, please be directed to any Richard Dawkins book.

 

Lady = colours = slut - is that a scientific proof, or are you just a narrow minded #@%*

 

If this whole thing bores you, don't post again troll.

 

Your name well fits you , did your mum name you that , or are you just one of those skanks that can't get a man to settle down so you will just #@%* anything , do you see what I did there ?

 

Ah Richard Dawkins that well known man who has lived through centuries of mankind and has witnessed everything.I love making things up as I go along as it obviously irritates you so much.

 

Skank

[ans]

I have no conclusive evidence for my view on everyone's view on Abortion on Manx Forums , no poll , no canvassing of members.Does this make you feel more powerful ?

 

No, I'm just happy to see you admit that you made up that statement.

 

.Perhaps they ought to get out more rather than hide behind their keyboards.

 

Unless you're making that post on a PDA while abseiling down the Eiffel Tower, I'll assume that you are 'inside', posting on an internet forum, recommending that people get out more.

[b4mbi]

So you know she would have died do you.Maybe cheap skanks who sleep around and have abortions at the drop of a hat are okay as well.

I must say this thread is remarkably well titled.

 

 

why thank you!

 

It would be if you could spell

 

b4mbi spelling retard lunacy

 

Anyway all you well informed thoroughly knowledgeable people are boring me now.Not that you oh so predictable lot don't fulfill scripture

 

Please dont hate me , I so crave your good opinion.

 

Hope you don't have too good a life and that you blame God for all your own sufferings

 

Me brainwashed haha , be careful you don't follow all those other sheep , otherwise your colleagues at Isle Of Man Freethinkers will not be impressed.

 

FFS.... how old are you? If I could spell....

 

Is that the word of the Lord ? Thou shalt not make a typographical error otherwise you will be insulted and damned to hell for eternity by Jehovahs' Witness's?

(don't worry though, thou shalt not be damned for poor sentence structure such as "b4mbi spelling retard lunacy")

 

Please come and knock on my door tonight so I can knock on your face. I'm an internet warrior, hard as the very nails that were driven through your Lord's hands... (allegedly)

[bluemonday]

Those of you who follow my work will know that because of a weird happenstance in the early seventies, I was actually God for a couple of years. I got the sack for allowing Alvin Stardust get to number 1 in 1974, but that was only the final straw after a seies of duff decisions I made.

 

I learned a lot in those two years, mostly about myself in previous times.

 

Firstly, the boy Jesus was nothing to do with me. I denied it at the time, it was a set up by Mary and her father, and eventually Joseph admitted it and did the decent thing. It has followed me down the aeons, but you know what rumours are. No smoke without fire they say. I say, try taking potassium out of water. Fair enough?

 

Secondly, all the bibles and writings. Nothing at all to do with me. Not one jot. All made up by greedy people.

 

The only writings I endorse are quite recent. I saw all the damage being done in my name, so about 1974, I sent a bit of a vision to Douglas Adams. He got it wrong of course, as they all do. That's why he is dead now. But that is the nearest you will get to my Word.

 

This is the Word of the Ex-Lord.

 

About time you turned up. Any chance of you popping around and collecting those four horseman you left in my shed? I can't get at my lawn mower without all sorts of hassle.

[P.K.]

Eh? I'm talking about the billions of people that have died throughout history. If they're not in heaven, where are they? If it's floating around in some perpetual limbo or complete souldeath, I'm not sure I'd be 'more than happy' with that.

 

If I believed, I'm pretty sure I'd want to be in Heaven and I'd be pretty gutted if I didn't make it.

Dear oh dear oh dear. I can't believe so many on here are banging on about evidence, facts, examples and all the rest of the usual required to build a case and back it up. It's a faith for Christ's sake (sic). Of course it doesn't have any of the above because by it's very nature it doesn't need them.

 

Of course, all those who do not believe in this particular creed are aware of that and like vultures circling a dying meal they swoop down because it's such an easy target using their norms. If that's the best they can do to puff their pathetic egos then I'm starting to think that maybe a lot on here really should get out more.....

[Whimsy]

About time you turned up. Any chance of you popping around and collecting those four horseman you left in my shed? I can't get at my lawn mower without all sorts of hassle.

 

Shit. Sorry, forgot about those. That was one of my mistakes in 1973. I just forgot which shed they were in. My successor had to get a Deputy Pestilence, but he was a bit second rate. Dabbling around with Foot and Mouth and a few dead turkeys doesn't really cut the mustard when there is a full Bubonic Plague to release any time now.

 

His Deputy War horseman is doing OK though, but he could do with the full blown version for a proper impact. Can I get him to call round later in the week? And can you ask Death if I can have a borrow of the scythe? My lawn needs a trim too.

 

I blame Global Warming Horseman.

[Chinahand]

MarcusAurelius - I don't think you have acquitted yourself particularly well in this thread. I admit people have been insulting/forceful towards you, but two wrongs don't make a right and you are now close to ranting.

 

You've shown a rigid dogmatic view of certain segments of your holy book, but slipped and slided over other equally clear pieces that don't fit your (sects) particular interpretations.

 

There is always a problem when you rely for authority on a persons interpretation of a particular text, especially one which is poetically written etc. That is where Dawkins et al resort of evidence and reason rather than dogmatism. I presume you feel that your book is divinely inspired - fine, but as an outsider all I see is cherry picking and poetry - and alot of damnation which Christians either ignore or try to ram down your throat - you seem to be trying to do both - no hell, only 144000 will be saved.

 

You seem to be making something of the fact that the Jews were able to practice rudamentary hygene etc, but you've already PM'ed me rejecting these type of practices. What's your point - the Maya and their predecessors also had similar practices - along with Human sacrifice - if you are saying the Jews were divinely superior in technology or hygene you're well off the mark!

 

You also talk about predictions - honestly mate - what predictions: young girls giving birth to Messiahs - be very careful? If you are honest enough you really should acknowledge that the Jehovah's Witnesses have made many incorrect predictions about events connected with the end of the world and have attempted to re-write/re-interpret them multiple times in the last 100 or so years. You might not like it being raised here, but its true or are you denying that?

 

Lonan3 has posted alot of stuff you've disagreed with. My take on it: sects, even mainstream ones like the Catholic church, have various levels of strictness. You're a member of a more "liberal" group - Lonan3 has experienced, and is posting info about, more strict/conservative JWs. You can dismiss what Lonan3 says in connection with your own experiences - fine - are you really sure they don't apply more generally to the Witnesses?

 

I'd presume you want to show your sect in a positive light - I really don't think you are succeeding.

[MarcusAurelius]

FFS.... how old are you? If I could spell....

 

Is that the word of the Lord ? Thou shalt not make a typographical error otherwise you will be insulted and damned to hell for eternity by Jehovahs' Witness's?

(don't worry though, thou shalt not be damned for poor sentence structure such as "b4mbi spelling retard lunacy")

 

Please come and knock on my door tonight so I can knock on your face. I'm an internet warrior, hard as the very nails that were driven through your Lord's hands... (allegedly)

 

 

Ooh a threat , a threat , I'm shaking in my boots , tell you what pm me your address and I look forward to making your acquaintance.BTW how old are you ?

 

I am 84

[bluemonday]

Can I get him to call round later in the week?

Yes that'll be fine as long as he behaves himself viz no biblical carnage, the neighbours are a bit funny about that sort of thing.

And can you ask Death if I can have a borrow of the scythe? My lawn needs a trim too

Good luck with that, I asked him to sort some weeds out last month. Talk about sulky.

 

PS. Pestilence seems to have some personal hygiene issues - I can't bring myself to tell him. Perhaps you could have a word?

[Bananaman]

To all Abrahamist's and their faith's

 

Have a listen to this, very funny

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UY-ZrwFwLQg

 

Marcus Brigstocke

[Whimsy]

Can I get him to call round later in the week?

Yes that'll be fine as long as he behaves himself viz no biblical carnage, the neighbours are a bit funny about that sort of thing.

And can you ask Death if I can have a borrow of the scythe? My lawn needs a trim too

Good luck with that, I asked him to sort some weeds out last month. Talk about sulky.

 

PS. Pestilence seems to have some personal hygiene issues - I can't bring myself to tell him. Perhaps you could have a word?

 

Pestilence? Like Death, there's no talking to him. He's proud of his open sores. It's what defines him. Have you got a dog? Lazarus used to let dogs lick his, and survived. But then he was the ultimate survivor.

 

Not that I ever trusted him. Die and then be resurrected? Don't make me laugh. It can't be done. He was just a lazy sod and a very heavy sleeper.

 

By the way, I hope you haven't been feeding Famine? He's not good with food. Actually, he's just not good.

[DjDan]

I see the 144,000 limit on JW's being admitted to heaven is not disputed by MA. How does this work then? I mean if this limit has already been reached (and it must be sometime unless substitutes are allowed) there would appear to be no incentive to be a JW. Seems like a religion with built in obsolescence.

 

What is the fascination with going to heaven ? Is it because people want to see close friends and relatives again ? Incentive to be a JW is this.For the vast majority of JW's they have no desire to go to heaven because they believe from their study of the scriptures that all their proper desires will be fulfilled here on earth.

 

I personally look forward to a time here on earth when there will be no sickness, no crime , no hunger , no death , no suffering , no war.All these beliefs can be backed up by scripture.

 

 

 

Not wanting to add fuel to the fire, but I do want to comment on this issue of 'not wanting to go to heaven' bit. Before I say anything though, let it be clear that my comments are from one belief to another. I do not criticise this concept on the basis of 'mockery', but from the perspective of one christian appealing to another.

 

I was a missionary for the LDS church, as many of you know, and in such a capacity, I had opportunity to speak with hundreds and thousands of people of all beliefs and viewpoints. This one time I was discussing with a Jehovah's Witness on the issue of the 144,000.

 

As she explained to me, there are only 144,000 who go to "heaven" at the end of this life. Whereas all the other people who have been faithful will live on a paradisical earth. As Marcus describes: "there will be no sickness, no crime , no hunger , no death , no suffering , no war". Surely paradisical indeed!!!

 

Funny enough, this description sounds a lot like what we would expect "heaven" to be like.

 

I asked the question "what is Heaven like? Is it also a place of paradise?". "Yes" she told me. I asked further, "Am I right in my understanding that this is where both YHWH (God) and Jesus live?". "Yes" she said again. "Okay... so one would expect that the paradise in which they live is as good as, or possibly even better than the paradise that earth will become as? I mean, you'd expect that God will live in perfection - a perfect paradise!". She agreed.

 

I then asked the question, and this is my main issue with this 144,000 concept:

"Allow me to make a comparison here. God lives in a paradise. You.. will hopefully... live in a paradise. God lives in Heaven. You.. expect to live on earth. Would you rather live in paradise with God - which would be in "heaven"? or live in paradise without God - which would be "earth"?".

 

Her answer.... "I want to live on earth! Won't it be soo beautiful??". At that, I ended our discussion and walked away.

 

Now this is only one Jehovah's Witness (though I have had the same idea expressed to me by a number of them). My question to Marcus, and based on the above quote:

 

What is the fascination with going to heaven ?

 

Would you not rather live in Heaven with God? than live on earth?

 

Why are you content with the concept that whilst 144,000 will spend eternity in a paradisical heaven with YHWH - all the rest of you... however many there may be.. will be left on paradisical earth?! - without him. That concept, I cannot understand.

 

From one Christian to another.. we know that God loves his children (which we are).

1) why be content to live without him?

2) why would God be content to live without us? - why limit the number of people who can live with him in "heaven"???

 

 

no mockery intended. this is purely a concern of mine.

[b4mbi]

FFS.... how old are you? If I could spell....

 

Is that the word of the Lord ? Thou shalt not make a typographical error otherwise you will be insulted and damned to hell for eternity by Jehovahs' Witness's?

(don't worry though, thou shalt not be damned for poor sentence structure such as "b4mbi spelling retard lunacy")

 

Please come and knock on my door tonight so I can knock on your face. I'm an internet warrior, hard as the very nails that were driven through your Lord's hands... (allegedly)

 

 

Ooh a threat , a threat , I'm shaking in my boots , tell you what pm me your address and I look forward to making your acquaintance.BTW how old are you ?

 

I am 84

 

u r a troll. send me a postcard from heaven (if you get there)

[Lonan3]

...maybe I am totally barking...

Any more questions?

[Misfit]

cant be bothered