Albert Tatlock Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 'Exclusive' in today's Mirror Many people feel the same when a partner walks out and 'takes' the children - but the eventual outcome very often depends on the other partners reaction to it. This should be a lesson to any parent likely to face a similar situation. Most blokes don't get 'residence' because they don't actually apply for it, or simply invest their efforts in reacting badly to the situation - often alienating their children in the process. Women can be just as bitchy in their reaction, and I have seen numerous parents using children as weapons against each other or 'brainwashing' children to alienate their partner. The psychological damage to children can often be immense and affect their own future relationships (and even their future relationships with their parents and 'step dads and mums'). Children get far more choice as to which parent they live with these days, but the fact is they are less likely to want to live with an angry or jealous parent, and/or one that hits the bottle looking for answers. The courts will not place children in such adverse environments and will strip out all anger and emotion when making their decisions. However happy you may be as a family, involve lawyers and the courts and you will find yourself on a conveyor belt where you are little more than a number. Courts damage everyone involved. Get boozed up and aggressive (especially to others) about it all and the outcome is certain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
P.K. Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 Most blokes don't get 'residence' because they don't actually apply for it, or simply invest their efforts in reacting badly to the situation - often alienating their children in the process. Women can be just as bitchy in their reaction, and I have seen numerous parents using children as weapons against each other or 'brainwashing' children to alienate their partner. The psychological damage to children can often be immense and affect their own future relationships (and even their future relationships with their parents and 'step dads and mums'). Children get far more choice as to which parent they live with these days, but the fact is they are less likely to want to live with an angry or jealous parent, and/or one that hits the bottle looking for answers. The courts will not place children in such adverse environments and will strip out all anger and emotion when making their decisions. However happy you may be as a family, involve lawyers and the courts and you will find yourself on a conveyor belt where you are little more than a number. Courts damage everyone involved. Get boozed up and aggressive (especially to others) about it all and the outcome is certain. Excellent post Albert, well done. Unfortunately the reaction of Kershaw and others may simply be the result of an overwhelming situation that they obviously couldn't cope with - not something that a jail term is ever going to put right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cronky Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 However happy you may be as a family, involve lawyers and the courts and you will find yourself on a conveyor belt where you are little more than a number. Courts damage everyone involved. Get boozed up and aggressive (especially to others) about it all and the outcome is certain. There is a better alternative available these days: mediation. Private, non litigious and the process allows full examination of all the issues pertinent to the dispute. Definately worth a try before calling an advocate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
We Like The Moon Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 He'll be back in in a week - reading that article in the paper - he's obviously still very angry and it doesn't look like he will let it lie. He's angry and is looking for everyone to blame but himself. It's a sad downward spiral for this individual I fear. There have to be reasons why the marriage broke down and why Ms Banner will not allow him to see his children - if he stayed off the ale and sorted himself out - moved on I think he would have more chance of an amicable relationship with his children and their mother. Good luck to him - I hope he sorts it for his sake but most of all his kids Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grumble Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 IF he re-offends, could he be excluded from the Island - or does the fact he owns property here affect his right to stay? Ticking bomb if you ask me. Which you didn't. But I'm just saying, like... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
We Like The Moon Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 I wager you fifty new English pence that he will locked up and back in court before the end of the week................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
%age Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 However happy you may be as a family, involve lawyers and the courts and you will find yourself on a conveyor belt where you are little more than a number. Courts damage everyone involved. Get boozed up and aggressive (especially to others) about it all and the outcome is certain. There is a better alternative available these days: mediation. Private, non litigious and the process allows full examination of all the issues pertinent to the dispute. Definately worth a try before calling an advocate. Heh, the people putting themselves up for mediators on the Island all seem to be . . . advocates. A Manx Advocate that also does mediation. An oxymoron if ever there was one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feelslikeitshould Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 I think he's a total numpty. He's contradicted most of what he said during his previous (countless) court appearances, about how understanding the deemster was and how kind the people of the island are. He got a suspended sentence for his behaviour then moans about the injustice of it all when he breaks the restraining order AGAIN and gets sent to prison? Which, btw, was 3 months and he served 44 days so I don't see how that was the full sentence.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cronky Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 Heh, the people putting themselves up for mediators on the Island all seem to be . . . advocates. A Manx Advocate that also does mediation. An oxymoron if ever there was one. That's a very good point which I had not thought of. Advocates exist to make money for themselves. Why would they wish to mediate as part of their practice? If they are successful then they get the clients off the practice's books and future revenue is lost. If a greater number of disputes were solved via mediation then the legal profession would lose out in a big way. CLeints would be hugely better off but never mind that. Therefore . . . if you need a mediator then find one who is not an advocate. Any takers??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inspector Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 Someone must know Kershaw - get him on here. Straight from the horses mouth and all that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThieBane Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 He'll be back in in a week - reading that article in the paper - he's obviously still very angry and it doesn't look like he will let it lie. He's angry and is looking for everyone to blame but himself. It's a sad downward spiral for this individual I fear. There have to be reasons why the marriage broke down and why Ms Banner will not allow him to see his children - if he stayed off the ale and sorted himself out - moved on I think he would have more chance of an amicable relationship with his children and their mother. Good luck to him - I hope he sorts it for his sake but most of all his kids Oh Bugger How prescient of you. So says the times anyway... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cronky Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 That's just tragic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saxo253 Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 the fool is back inside again after harrasing his ex wife and ex girlfriend I just heard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeoneday Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 This guy needs serious help and I dont think Prison really is the answer! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
monasqueen Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 So what does he do when he is released? He goes to the pub - what do people expect him to do after being banged up? Unfortunately, he still has a restraining order in relation to pubs, so all the police have to do is hang around by his local for a couple of hours, and hey presto, in he goes again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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