Newsbot Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 Police on the Isle of Man are looking to recruit new officers. Source : http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/rss/-/1/hi/world/...man/7559108.stm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silentbob Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 Just in case you get these questions on your entry exam. Q. What is the best response to a man armed with a hammer? A. 9mm Uzi. Q. You see a vehicle travelling at high speed displaying an 'R' Plate, what does the 'R' stand for? A. REALLY good driver Q. What would you say in the event of a disturbance at a residential location? A. RESPECT MAH AUTHORITAH!!! Q. You follow a vehicle being driven eratically, you pull it over, the driver smells of alcohol yet tries to shake your hand whilst standing on one foot, he is wearing goatskin leggings, what do you do? A. Nothing as I saw nothing, what vehicle? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tugger Posted August 14, 2008 Share Posted August 14, 2008 Or: Q. If you are a police officer, can you drink and drive without losig your job? Or, if you do lose your job, will you be reinstated AND get compensation, even though you, a police officer, were dismissed for committing an imprisonable criminal offence? A. Yes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tempus Fugit Posted August 14, 2008 Share Posted August 14, 2008 I know they have a fisheries launch, a customs launch, and I thought they were getting a police launch Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fubar Posted August 14, 2008 Share Posted August 14, 2008 Or: I am investigating a burglary. What do I do? A) Investigate any possible leads and interview any people with previous for similar B) If unable to fully solve the crime, suggest higher numbers of officers on the beat as opposed to sitting in panda cars/paddy wagons eating kebabs c) take 2 years off on sick leave due to stress while having the tax payer top up my pension Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimcalagon Posted August 14, 2008 Share Posted August 14, 2008 You forgot this one- Under what circumstances is it permissable to activate warning sirens/lights and ignore posted speed limits? A: When informed by the dispatcher of an urgent serious crime in progress (e.g. parking disc expired) B: When informed by the dispatcher that the sausage baps have been delivered to the station C: When informed by the dispatcher that the kettle is on at the station D: When there is a serious likelihood that your chips might go cold before reaching the station E: When you have had eight pints and need to get home before you soil your undergarments F: All of the above Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GD4ELI Posted August 14, 2008 Share Posted August 14, 2008 You forgot this one- Under what circumstances is it permissable to activate warning sirens/lights and ignore posted speed limits? A: When informed by the dispatcher of an urgent serious crime in progress (e.g. parking disc expired) B: When informed by the dispatcher that the sausage baps have been delivered to the station C: When informed by the dispatcher that the kettle is on at the station D: When there is a serious likelihood that your chips might go cold before reaching the station E: When you have had eight pints and need to get home before you soil your undergarments F: All of the above G: You're being chased by two 14 year-old drunken girls at 11:30 PM in Ramsey and are scared sh*tless! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manshimajin Posted August 14, 2008 Share Posted August 14, 2008 Q. You see a man behaving suspiciously. Do you a) shoot him several times in the head and then ask him for his identity? b) make sure you and your colleagues have matching stories? c) get praised for your vigilence and quick action? d) resign along with your Chief Constable? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GD4ELI Posted August 14, 2008 Share Posted August 14, 2008 Another prerequisite: The absolute requirement to speak down to the locals in a northern accent with no trace of Manx at all, also a general surely attitude helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max Power Posted August 14, 2008 Share Posted August 14, 2008 It certainly helps if you were bullied or ridiculed at school, you have a ready made axe to grind! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orange Posted August 14, 2008 Share Posted August 14, 2008 It certainly helps if you were bullied or ridiculed at school, you have a ready made axe to grind! :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laughingcavalier Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 Seek thick foreign people to wear a uniform to tell indiginous people what to do. An ability to interfere with law abiding folks desirable. Especially desirable is an ability to have a self centered belief that what you say is right - regardless of the banality or senslessness of it. A sullen expression is especially desired. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spencer Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 REQUIREMENT - ALL OF THE ABOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manshimajin Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 REQUIREMENT - ALL OF THE ABOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Should be easy to find them then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wake Up Call Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 Why can't we have some proper police like the ones in London, Manchester or New York? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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