Andy Kershaw Update

[The Godfather of Manx House]

I'll bet every time he wakes up he can hear "I got you babe" on his wireless.

 

With Punxsutawney Phil nibbling his bedpost...

 

...GOMH*...

[TerryMcCann]

I'll bet every time he wakes up he can hear "I got you babe" on his wireless.

 

I'll bet that every time he wakes up he wonders where he is and then realises that he has shat the bed once again a-la Spud out of Trainspotting

[Albert Tatlock]

I find all of this quite surreal, and believe it has all been handled very badly from the start by both the parents and the system. If things carry on being handled this way, I firmly believe that this could lead to what could effectively become an institutionally led tragedy. I hope I am very wrong.

 

Having been through a very messy divorce myself, along with a journey through the courts for residence orders etc. I have seen that there are good and capable people that work in the family courts over here, and the issue should of been handed over to them and focussed around them, and other specialists - even if Andy Kershaw was in the UK. If the press reports/stories are to be believed, the first question I would be asking is why didn't his ex didn't change her number, so that all contact had to go through the family court? What routes for contact or for recourse has he been given, especially if as the press reports suggest, letters haven't been forwarded?

 

Instead we have a situation now where an emotionally charged set of circumstances and issues are simply being handed over to PC Plod here, and making a highly emotional set of issues a mechanical process. This case and warrant need to be urgently reviewed IMO, so that Kershaw knows that proper communication routes have been set up via the family court (as they should have been when his sentence was suspended and he returned to the UK).

 

Again, if the press reports are accurate, I'd like to know what others would have expected him to do, faced with such circumstances i.e. no route for contact or recourse for the actions of his ex? Personally with no other route for contact and letters being witheld, I'd have felt I had little alternative but to have done exactly the same.

 

AFAIC both parents need their heads banging together, the consequences, limitations and practicality of these orders need to be reviewed/addressed and communicated, and the necessary help for all involved needs to be provided as a matter of urgency.

 

My bet is that their kids won't have much to do with both parents when they grow up if this continues to be handled this way, and they should realise that there are systems in place to help during these stressful and emotional times - and the last thing to put families through is lawyers and the criminal court machine, where there is no emotion - just case numbers and damaged families.

[Donkeyteapot]

He needs to realise that actions have consequences - he brought all this on himself in the first place, by having the fling. His family didn’t matter so much then, did they? Now he's all "woe is me" because he got dumped and his ex is with someone else.

 

I understand that not seeing his kids must be difficult. But if he was my ex, behaving like that, (if the reports are to be believed) there’s no way I’d let him near my kids.

 

Why should his ex put her life on hold anyway? If she wants to move in with her new man, that is her right. What is the alternative? To tell the new boyfriend he can’t move in because her ex will be upset? He's not the only person ever to bump into his ex with their new partner - that's certainly not unique to the island. It sucks, yes, but you get on with it.

[Albert Tatlock]

He needs to realise that actions have consequences - he brought all this on himself in the first place, by having the fling. His family didn’t matter so much then, did they? Now he's all "woe is me" because he got dumped and his ex is with someone else.

 

I understand that not seeing his kids must be difficult. But if he was my ex, behaving like that, (if the reports are to be believed) there’s no way I’d let him near my kids.

 

Why should his ex put her life on hold anyway? If she wants to move in with her new man, that is her right. What is the alternative? To tell the new boyfriend he can’t move in because her ex will be upset? He's not the only person ever to bump into his ex with their new partner - that's certainly not unique to the island. It sucks, yes, but you get on with it.

I bet you don't have any kids of your own yet.

[Chinahand]

I sort of agree Albert. If the report is accurate that the missus was stopping perfectly innocuous letters getting through to his kids, then she isn't helping the situation. But Kershaw has got to undestand that the restraining order is a big deal and he can't go grabbing the phone off his sister and shouting.

 

That makes the relationship with his wife worse AND gets the authorities involved.

 

The courts were patient with him - he fully admitted he thought he'd be jailed what - the second time - he breeched the order and was released into the community. If he continues to breech the courts can't just ignore it.

 

Fully agree both sides have got to calm it down - and start working with the child court professionals. But that requires a accepting reality. Given his behaviour it is very unlikely that he'll get custody and it is down to visiting rights etc. Shouting about it and making it even more emotional isn't going to help him, getting a working relationship going with his ex, or his kids.

[mr touchy]

A lot of this seems to be a case of 'a woman scorned'.

He obviously hasn't, partly due to drink and some sort of breakdown done the right thing. The right thing would have been to pack up and start again away from his ex. As mentioned she could have changed her number and I always think involving the police in these types of things just makes things worse. He doesn't come across as a violent type, although I don't know.

His wife should simply let it drop and get a new phone. If she's that desperate she could move herself. Millions of men and women have had to do this.

It does seem that they are as bad as each other and he will always get his nose rubbed in it living in Peel. I hope he stays in England and gets back on the radio where he belongs. It can take up to two years to recover from this type of thing and perhaps he should face the music now and vow never to set foot on the island again,while building a successful career and establishing his pride and sanity once again.

I feel sorry for the guy as he obviously has a heart and great talent. Good luck mate, even though I don't know you.

[don fugazi]

The Independent interview is I think an attempt to win some sympathy and paint himself as a regular guy who has just made a couple of mistakes and been subsequently persecuted by being denied access to his children.

 

However he is not a reliable witness.

 

There was no problem with access to the children between his ex leaving him and meeting her new bloke several months later. That seems to be the trigger for all the abuse and threats.

 

A man who would send text messages of the type that were read out in court last time is not the best judge of what comprises a "perfectly innocuous" letter.

 

Some kind of mediation would have been best, and may perhaps still be an option - but it does require that both parties behave in a somewhat calmer manner than they have been - they must also come to the table prepared to compromise, which is a skill Kershaw has never mastered, but unless he learns something from his mistakes he does seem doomed to repeat them.

[cathelsa]

He needs to realise that actions have consequences - he brought all this on himself in the first place, by having the fling. His family didn’t matter so much then, did they? Now he's all "woe is me" because he got dumped and his ex is with someone else.

 

I understand that not seeing his kids must be difficult. But if he was my ex, behaving like that, (if the reports are to be believed) there’s no way I’d let him near my kids.

 

Why should his ex put her life on hold anyway? If she wants to move in with her new man, that is her right. What is the alternative? To tell the new boyfriend he can’t move in because her ex will be upset? He's not the only person ever to bump into his ex with their new partner - that's certainly not unique to the island. It sucks, yes, but you get on with it.

 

 

 

"The fling".... as in .....singular???!!!!!

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Sorry, but clearly most of the contributors to this thread have never met Andy and if they had they wouldnt be posting half this gumpf.

I dont want to dwell on the ugly details, but the fact is that Juliette endured 16 years of pain and humiliation from Andy with dignity and forgiveness, ALWAYS putting the interests of the kids first.

However in the end she was forced to conclude that ...

 

a. She had had enough (long after most other women would have thrown in the towel)

b. The kids were becoming emotionally damaged by her and Andy continuing to live together.

 

She would never have got the police and courts involved unless it was an absolute last resort.

And lest we forget, he has never actually been denied access to Sonny and Dolly. He had it back in March and I think we can all remember what happened then.....

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/artic...d-Isle-Man.html

 

That said, he is clearly an ill man who can no longer take responsibility for himself.

Lets just hope that when he returns to jail he gets some of the help he so desperately needs.

[P.K.]

b. The kids were becoming emotionally damaged by her and Andy continuing to live together.

Well, in her opinion anyway. That'll be the same opinion that concluded moving in nearby to Kershaw with new bloke would all work out fine?

 

He needs professional help and I think they both need counselling for the sake of the kids.

[pamplemousse]

b. The kids were becoming emotionally damaged by her and Andy continuing to live together.

Well, in her opinion anyway. That'll be the same opinion that concluded moving in nearby to Kershaw with new bloke would all work out fine?

 

He needs professional help and I think they both need counselling for the sake of the kids.

 

I'm sorry but I have to weigh in with cathelsa here who, along with don fugazi, obviously knows a great deal more facts than most posters on here. It's more than a bit upsetting to see people falling for Kershaw's poor-me schtick and being critical of his ex-partner's motives on the basis of pure speculation. The idea that she has contributed to his illness is, frankly, ludicrous to anyone who has been witness to the whole sorry episode. This is not some Kramer vs Kramer tug of love over the kids with both parties fighting dirty - it is about one party going totally beyond the pale in every respect and the other being forced to take action. Does no-one consider that his ex might have been pushed to the limit in turning to the police, and that therefore compassion is due to her and their children?

 

As cathelsa has already pointed out, he was never denied access to the kids. And his ex did only involve the police as a last resort, believe me. It was certainly not, as some people have suggested, a way of 'getting back at him.' What was she supposed to do? Keep being subjected every day to verbal abuse, threats and harassment, while the kids looked on?

 

PK, she did not 'move in nearby' to Kershaw with a bloke. She returned to a second home they already owned. On her own. Yes, it was round the corner - this meant that Kershaw could see his children at the drop of a hat, as often as possible. But for months after his partner left him, he preferred to ricochet around the pubs in Peel while pursuing (aka being a downright nuisance to) half a dozen other women.

It was when she did meet someone else that his behaviour became worse - not because he was heartbroken, but because he refused to accept that his ex would have the temerity not only to finally leave him but to meet another man. In common with many alcoholics, his behaviour has been that of a spoilt, nasty-tempered child who, if he cannot get what he wants, lashes out at everyone around him. His ex-partner stood up to him, and had to be punished - hence texts calling her a 'f*cking whore.' Nice, eh?

 

In all of this, his ex has kept silent - because she has better things to do than become involved in a game of tabloid tit-for-tat, namely, look after their children and keep them on an even keel. I seriously doubt that contact with their father at this point would have anything other than a detrimental affect on their psychological and emotional wellbeing.

If you want an example of someone who is doing the wrong thing by the kids, using them as pawns in a domestic battle, have a look at Kershaw - selling his sob story to national papers... or how about sending abusive messages to his ex via his kids' phones?

 

If his kids were really his top priority right now, he'd come home, face the consequences, do the time and sort himself out. But other people's needs and rights are seemingly absolutely meaningless to him - he is the centre of his own one-man universe.

 

But that said, he is an alcoholic who also, I agree, now needs professional help. The problem is, before you can get help, you need to recognise and admit that you need it or, in extreme cases, be forced to seek it.

[P.K.]

PK, she did not 'move in nearby' to Kershaw with a bloke. She returned to a second home they already owned. On her own. Yes, it was round the corner - this meant that Kershaw could see his children at the drop of a hat, as often as possible. But for months after his partner left him, he preferred to ricochet around the pubs in Peel while pursuing (aka being a downright nuisance to) half a dozen other women.

That's a fair shout, I didn't know that.

[pamplemousse]

PK, she did not 'move in nearby' to Kershaw with a bloke. She returned to a second home they already owned. On her own. Yes, it was round the corner - this meant that Kershaw could see his children at the drop of a hat, as often as possible. But for months after his partner left him, he preferred to ricochet around the pubs in Peel while pursuing (aka being a downright nuisance to) half a dozen other women.

That's a fair shout, I didn't know that.

 

Aye, well, fair enough, that's because only one side of the story has been heard, and it's a very unreliable one.

 

Yes, it was only her opinion that the kids were becoming emotionally damaged but, with her former partner appearing constantly pissed, aggressive and abusive, who else's opinion should she have deferred to? A kangaroo court of strangers on a forum? And how long should she have waited? There's a lot of sanctimonious bullshit flying around about what might be the 'right thing' for the children but if a mother believes that her kids' emotional welfare is increasingly at risk, then surely she would be negligent not to take action. Not once did she act selfishly or out of spite.

[Albert Tatlock]

No one is, can, or should be taking sides, simply because we don't know all of the details.

 

My concern was a general concern that not all available avenues of help appear to have been made available to both sides, and that simply following the mechanistic route of repetitively locking someone up solves nothing. If some of that help has to be provided via an order to seek it, then so be it.

 

Both of their children will be grown up one day, and as big as the details of the rights and wrongs appear now to those concerned, over time they will diminish, but mum will always be mum and dad will always be dad.

 

The target should be access on both sides, even if for the meantime some of that has to be on a supervised/third party basis until that help has worked and things settle down to the 'new routine'.

 

After a divorce/separation IMO parents have a duty to their children to first stabalise this new routine, before 'uncle Fred', and aunty 'Sharon' are brought into the scene. The reality is often very different though, and many parents are selfish barstards putting their own happiness first, often at the expense of very confused and emotionally hurt children.

[cathelsa]

No one is, can, or should be taking sides, simply because we don't know all of the details.

 

My concern was a general concern that not all available avenues of help appear to have been made available to both sides, and that simply following the mechanistic route of repetitively locking someone up solves nothing. If some of that help has to be provided via an order to seek it, then so be it.

 

Both of their children will be grown up one day, and as big as the details of the rights and wrongs appear now to those concerned, over time they will diminish, but mum will always be mum and dad will always be dad.

 

The target should be access on both sides, even if for the meantime some of that has to be on a supervised/third party basis until that help has worked and things settle down to the 'new routine'.

 

After a divorce/separation IMO parents have a duty to their children to first stabalise this new routine, before 'uncle Fred', and aunty 'Sharon' are brought into the scene. The reality is often very different though, and many parents are selfish barstards putting their own happiness first, often at the expense of very confused and emotionally hurt children.

 

 

 

Look, I am sorrry to have to say this but I'm fed up of this "one side of the story" business

Are most people in Peel actually aware of why Kershaw left London in April 06, in rather unseemly haste?

Hate to break it you - but it wasn’t for the clean air, good schools and all round quality of life.

 

I have an old college chum whose now a producer at Broadcasting House in London.

Apparantly, it's an open secret in the Beeb that his private life had become so "complicated" that,

rather than stick it out in London, it was just easier for him to take to the hills and start somewhere new.

(Somewhere where he wouldn’t run the risk of women turning up on his doorstep in tears, if you understand).

 

If people knew half of what he has got up to over the years, then they would be 100% behind Juliette.

Perhaps it's this Catherine Turner woman who deserves our pity, now he seems to have focused his attention on her.