Declan Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 What's going on with Newsbot? Here are a selection of his recent thread titles... Camera viewer pulls 350 tourists As Pongo pointed out "It's a Camera Obscura. Not a camera viewer. It is internationally famous as a camera obscura. Why invent some clumsy new term for the rss headline feed? Nobody has ever called it a viewer." Unless of course everything was shut and thrill-seeking visitors forced to compare Kodak and Cannon accessories. Island's jobless figures see fall but they helped the old lady back to her feet and brought her into the job centre and gave her a nice cup of tea. Group attack victim in hospital The victim wasn't in hospital at the time of the attack. Beach closed after device found - A Manx beach is closed to the public following a find of a suspected piece of ordnance, police say. It starts as a device, becomes a suspected piece of ordnance, and becomes an "inanimate object which was not a threat to anyone". New birds flock to wildlife park - An Isle of Man wildlife park is the new home to penguins and a king vulture. I think they were just chillin' in the Falklands when they saw an advert for the Isle of Keith and flocked off here. Island targeting London tourists We only need to hijack four or five jumbo jets and the airport's monthly passenger numbers begin to look a lot better. Sea warning as warm weather comes As it gently laps against the inanimate objects on Laxey Beach the sea was heard to say "Beware! It's Mild In March". Perhaps the flocking penguins have been driven wild by heat stroke are scrapping like it's August outside Jaks. Island answers coastguard calls Although at a speed of 50 mm per year it might take us a while to get there. Pair in refuge tower charity swim Leaving aside that Newsbot spent most of last summer reporting on people who'd walked there. The actual article describes it as the "Isle of Man's iconic Tower of Refuge", as iconic as Liberty Statute or Dover White Cliffs? Fingerprinter makes 43-year mark I quite like that one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chinahand Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 Don't blame newsbot - he just picks up the wire reports form the BBC hack based here who insists on writing their copy in the worst type of journalese. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slinkydevil Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 What's going on with Newsbot? Here are a selection of his recent thread titles... Of course there are 3 BBC journalists covering the IOM all based here - a bit of overkill for the amount of work that seems to come out. A few press releases on the BBC website and on very very rare occasions Paul Moulton reporting on the TV. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
%age Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 Yes we have the mighty Richard Corkhill, ex Chief Minister to thank for the desk of BBC hacks up at Manx Radio premises. He went to kick ass about all the money we pay on licence fees and they fucked him off with a £100k per annum or so's worth of bright young hacks. The cushiest numbers of the whole fucken Island, surely. All Newsbot provides us is its fuckwitted ramblings, often days after the event and well into a manxforums thread on the subject. I reckon we are supposed to think: "BBC"..."News"..."Charlotte Green"...."Reliability"...."Decency"... "Standards" Well, I don't. I think ill -mannered highly paid arrogant foul mouthed ignorant, ill-educated twats. Such as Jonathan Ross and his pal (ok that's another subject altogether but you get my drift?). I think of Chris Moyles discussing inspecting toilet paper after wiping (Oh how I chuckle at his breakfast time naughtiness). Chris Evans discussing shagging, getting pissed....etc. To me, the net worth of the BBC is expensive, high cost fuckwittery. Newsbot is our constant and incessant reminder of that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ans Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 I think ill -mannered highly paid arrogant foul mouthed ignorant, ill-educated twats. Spooky, I just read your post and thought the same. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
x-in-man Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 Right, lets see if we can do better. Every NewGrot item, the first response has to be a better Headline. Starting ... now. 1st Prize of a pint to the best one at the end of the year. (You may need to collect it from the BBC bar thou') Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pongo Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 The problem is not that the BBC local news website and RSS feed exists. The problem is with the lousy quality of the content and how it is written. I had an idea that it was someone ex Manx Radio doing it. I did not know that it actually came from a desk at Manx Radio. It is obviously pointless complaining to Manx Radio since they have consistently ignored comments about the poor quality of the writing on their own website. So I wonder whether this could be addressed by making a complaint direct to the BBC website. Someone who writes better than me could probably word it better. Someone like Declan would get my vote. Actually I bet he could do a better job of filing the content too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moghrey Mie Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 What's going on with Newsbot? Here are a selection of his recent thread titles... Camera viewer pulls 350 tourists As Pongo pointed out "It's a Camera Obscura. Not a camera viewer. It is internationally famous as a camera obscura. Why invent some clumsy new term for the rss headline feed? Nobody has ever called it a viewer." Unless of course everything was shut and thrill-seeking visitors forced to compare Kodak and Cannon accessories. Island's jobless figures see fall but they helped the old lady back to her feet and brought her into the job centre and gave her a nice cup of tea. Group attack victim in hospital The victim wasn't in hospital at the time of the attack. Beach closed after device found - A Manx beach is closed to the public following a find of a suspected piece of ordnance, police say. It starts as a device, becomes a suspected piece of ordnance, and becomes an "inanimate object which was not a threat to anyone". New birds flock to wildlife park - An Isle of Man wildlife park is the new home to penguins and a king vulture. I think they were just chillin' in the Falklands when they saw an advert for the Isle of Keith and flocked off here. Island targeting London tourists We only need to hijack four or five jumbo jets and the airport's monthly passenger numbers begin to look a lot better. Sea warning as warm weather comes As it gently laps against the inanimate objects on Laxey Beach the sea was heard to say "Beware! It's Mild In March". Perhaps the flocking penguins have been driven wild by heat stroke are scrapping like it's August outside Jaks. Island answers coastguard calls Although at a speed of 50 mm per year it might take us a while to get there. Pair in refuge tower charity swim Leaving aside that Newsbot spent most of last summer reporting on people who'd walked there. The actual article describes it as the "Isle of Man's iconic Tower of Refuge", as iconic as Liberty Statute or Dover White Cliffs? Fingerprinter makes 43-year mark I quite like that one. IoM Newspapers is not too hot either. 'Bus drivers have 7 free passes each for familiies' No, they don't have 7 each. There are 110 drivers and 766 free passes are issued. Courier headline Threat to Peel's Sailors' Final sentence 'The shelter was built from public subscriptions in' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T.I.N.G. Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 They've been listening to Keys again; "I want to disregard myself" B Cannell "I'm not standing here today" A Bell There are more gems from the wedding cake. Who said this? "This is, I was going to say, a burning issue for me" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
x-in-man Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 Beach closed after device found - A Manx beach is closed to the public following a find of a suspected piece of ordnance, police say. It starts as a device, becomes a suspected piece of ordnance, and becomes an "inanimate object which was not a threat to anyone". I would have loved to have seen the faces of the Police and Coastgaurds after spending time digging out around it, only to find, it was indeed, a giant whale turd. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluemonday Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 They've been listening to Keys again;"I want to disregard myself" B Cannell "I'm not standing here today" A Bell There are more gems from the wedding cake. Who said this? "This is, I was going to say, a burning issue for me" Got to be Phil G? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joeyconcrete Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 I knocked up a quick NewsBot generator; http://www.onchanafc.com/newsbot/ There's obviously quite a few mistakes and typos in places, its by no means artificial intelligence Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slinkydevil Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 I knocked up a quick NewsBot generator;http://www.onchanafc.com/newsbot/ I got: "Chief Minister crushes kebab whilst eating at the OEDC Whitelist" I like it!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joeyconcrete Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 It's random and some are non-sensical; Chief Minister contemplates skid marks situated up at the entrance to Marine Drive Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alibaba Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 "Manx Telecom tickles a Manx Cat whilst at the Road closures" - excellent! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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