Observer Posted February 5, 2005 Share Posted February 5, 2005 In a three year research project jointly conducted by Herriot Watt University, Edinburgh and Nottingham Trent researchers concluded that All 4 x 4 drivers (Except farmers with Land Rovers) Were selfish tossers That 83 per cent were driven by women That 94 per cent of those women didn't have a clue how to drive properly That 99 per cent of those women were incapable of reversing or traversing roundabouts without 1) having palpitations and 2) causing extreme annoyance to all other road users..... Further research is expected to show that 4 x 4 drivers are extremely sensitive to criticism because they know deep down that they are doing Satan's work. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> DTCB - you have cut me to the bone... sigh (Nice to know that I am the .00000000001% of the female 4 x 4 driving population though) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave the Cardboard Box Posted February 5, 2005 Share Posted February 5, 2005 You're a farmer!?? What do you think of hand milking? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hollandaise Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 Been working hard for a few days so missed the earlier part of this thread and am too knackered to read back. But for what it's worth, the vast majority of 4x4s I meet on the roads here - rural Warwickshire - seem oblivious to my presence. They drive straight at me, often forcing me into the mud verges or even the ditch, and charge round blind corners at lunatic speeds. Oh yeah, they know if an accident were to happen, they'd probably survive whilst cars like mine, i.e. sad old bangers, would be crushed like an empty tin of beans. The genuine farmers, who need the off-road vehicles and use them on a daily basis - I often see them out in the fields, for instance, checking on the new lambs - are far more considerate in their driving habits. It's only women of a certain age, with kids and shopping in the back, who try to mow me down, or their blank-faced husbands, who long since ceased to care about other road users and don't even notice my raised fist as they roar past in a shower of mud. As the late great Kenny Everett used to say: "Let's round 'em up, put 'em in a field and bomb the b**tards!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill Posters Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 They drive straight at me, often forcing me into the mud verges or even the ditch, Perhaps, your reputation precedes you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hollandaise Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 My reputation, Iago, my reputation! How would you know what my reputation is, old Bill Posters? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grumble Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 I've asked some women I know who drive these tanks. Most 4 x 4's are driven by women who like the perceived security of driving round in an armoured vehicle. They say they feel 'safer' in them, and that their kids are better protected. They allegedly also like the high seating position as it gives them a better view of everything. They fail to understand that primary safety is about manoeverability and good handling characteristics - something that big tall things don't have! Most men who drive them wear camouflage pants, have their phones in a belt holster, and have tiny todgers. Exceptions are only people who genuinely need off-road capability or tow stuff on a regular basis. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BSOD Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 I've asked some women I know who drive these tanks. Most 4 x 4's are driven by women who like the perceived security of driving round in an armoured vehicle. They say they feel 'safer' in them, and that their kids are better protected. They allegedly also like the high seating position as it gives them a better view of everything. They fail to understand that primary safety is about manoeverability and good handling characteristics - something that big tall things don't have! Most men who drive them wear camouflage pants, have their phones in a belt holster, and have tiny todgers. Exceptions are only people who genuinely need off-road capability or tow stuff on a regular basis. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Man are you "wrong", they feel safer because they "are" safer, most 4x4's handle very well and also are very easy to park due to the high visibility pas and auto transmission, most have abs brakes and very big tyre's (lots of rubber on the road) also if it get icy or it snow's they can still get about with no problems, I for one feel happy that my missus and kid's are travelling in something that is above all safe but also comfortable and drives like a dream, clocking up somthing like 35mpg while there doing it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cret Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 You say that there is no need for 4x4 on this Island but have you not witnessed the pot hole ridden roads and the speed bumps on every damn corner? My previous beloved car couldn't deal with these obstacles <{POST_SNAPBACK}> You don't need a 4wd to cope with potholes & speed bumps. At all. My old dear's lane is full of hella deep potholes but my car which is quite low to the ground is fine with them and even wth speed bumps too because when the roads/lanes are like that I simply drive to suit the conditions, ie slowly. The only "cars" that might not cope with potholes/speedbumps are perhaps boy racer cars with absurd spoilers half an inch off the road or maybe Kettler pedal karts. Most men who drive them wear camouflage pants, have their phones in a belt holster, and have tiny todgers.<{POST_SNAPBACK}> Never, ever have I had my phone attached to my belt, nor do I have a teeny piece. I thought that argument was meant for the porsche/ferrari brigade? Seems if you're male and drive any car other than a modeo you're guilty of being on the wrong end of the gene stick when d1cks were being dished out. Hmmm..... and very big tyre's (lots of rubber on the road) also if it get icy <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Whilst having 2 old 4wds meself it wouldn't go amiss for me to point out that whilst huge fat tyres are indeed a bonus for dry braking, in the wet it means better aquaplaning - ie crash potential. Plus as far as ice goes, it doesn't matter how many wheel drive you have on ice. 4wd will spin/skid as easily on ice as 2wd will. I know this from experience in my ones. But it is useful in snow (as often as we get it here!!) and general tractability for sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jim Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 i find when in the pick up that i need to leave my seat belt off, so when i hit the traffic calming bumps flat out i dont get a huge bruise right across my sholder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stavros Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 Alright, I've read everything that people have to say about them, killing children, gas guzzlers, too big to park, expensive etc. So I combined all this information and went to go and buy the perfect 4X4. It's eco friendly, it bounces off children instead of knocking them over. It's not expensive, has a good turning circle and it's easy to park. He's what they gave me: Stav. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stavros Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 Jesus Christ, the Son of God, came down to earth in a 4X4 (Isaiah 53:5-6) If it's good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for me! Stav. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slim Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 How about looking at 4WDs from another viewpoint - how many people's lives have been saved in car crashes and had they been in a normal car, would now be dead? Been on a UK motorway recently? Glad I was for the safety of my 4WD surrounded by folks with a death wish. Yeah, sod everyone elses safety tonto, as long as you're fine, who gives a damn eh? That Ford Fiesta you rear end is completely devastated by the weight and height of your 4x4 half ton monstrocity, the occupants didn't stand a chance. But hey, your ok, woot! Add that to the fact that you're more likely statistically to cause that devastating accident, makes you a real sweet guy huh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slim Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 Man are you "wrong", they feel safer because they "are" safer, most 4x4's handle very well and also are very easy to park due to the high visibility pas and auto transmission, most have abs brakes and very big tyre's (lots of rubber on the road) also if it get icy or it snow's they can still get about with no problems, I for one feel happy that my missus and kid's are travelling in something that is above all safe but also comfortable and drives like a dream, clocking up somthing like 35mpg while there doing it. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> On what evidence to do you claim that he's wrong? This is the thing that really gets on my tits. Your wife is driving near schools thinking she's safer than everyone else, in a false cloud of security that makes her even more dangerous. The average 4x4 has a longer breaking distance and a higher centre of gravity, how are you safer in something that's more likely to have an accident? Because you'll be better off in a crash? Compare a small mpvs crash test results: http://www.euroncap.com/content/safety_rat...p?id1=7&id2=183 http://www.euroncap.com/content/safety_rat...p?id1=7&id2=100 to a 4x4: http://www.euroncap.com/content/safety_rat...?id1=10&id2=142 http://www.euroncap.com/content/safety_rat...p?id1=9&id2=143 Still think the wife and kids are safer in one? Check the pedestrian safety rating on that last one, the grand vitara. Fekking shocking thing, like driving round in a loaded gun. I'll accept that there are also unsafe family cars and mpv's, but the trend is far worse for 4x4s, take a browse around the ncap site for the evidence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hollandaise Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 I'm sensing some tension here, people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mission Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 You wouldn't believe it could prove such an emotive subject would you? /ducks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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