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Thwack! Kapow! Splat!


bluemonday

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Move along, nothing to see here, it's only a minor altercation.

Thump!

 

Fortunately minor altercations are very rare on the Isle of Man.

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But what is the point of reporting that?

 

"A minor altercation between a group of people took place at the Hilton Hotel carpark entrance, on Central Promenade, Douglas at 3.15am this morning. Two people are assisting police with their inquiries"

End of article.

 

You might as well report

 

"The sun rose at dawn yesterday, then it rained later on"

 

Its non-news. The report is of absolutely no interest at all and tells you absolutely nothing.

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Well in fairness, one man's news is another man's new zzzzzz.

 

If I lived in any of the hundreds of apartments on the Prom and wondered what all the flashing blue lights and shouting was that woke me up in the early hours, I'd probably find that story of interest.

 

Fortunately, events like drive-by shootings, terrorist hostage stand-offs and weapons of mass destruction investigations are rare in the Isle of Man, so I guess it's inevitable that some people might find the more mundane stuff a little boring.

 

There's another thread about the number of hacks it takes to report for the BBC. Having worked in a newsroom for 5 years, I would suggest that it takes more people to find stories in a quiet society than it would if the phone was ringing off the hook at a busy city newsdesk. So please stop posting and go away and do something newsworthy.

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So please stop posting and go away and do something newsworthy.

 

Cue outbreak of manx serial killers...............

 

'Well Mister Moyle, it said on an interwebby forum thing go do something that would make the news, so I did.'

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If I lived in any of the hundreds of apartments on the Prom and wondered what all the flashing blue lights and shouting was that woke me up in the early hours, I'd probably find that story of interest.

People in those apartments can't get to sleep until there have been at least three incidents involving flashing blue lights (necessary or not) and shouting. It's what they've learned to expect.

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Move along, nothing to see here, it's only a minor altercation.

Thump!

 

Fortunately minor altercations are very rare on the Isle of Man.

Next week:

 

A tiny stabbing in tynwald street

 

A wee robbery in the west

 

A small burglary in santon

 

A miniscule crash in Maughold

 

Toy town, toy news :)

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If I lived in any of the hundreds of apartments on the Prom and wondered what all the flashing blue lights and shouting was that woke me up in the early hours, I'd probably find that story of interest.

 

And how would that "report" actually enlighten you?

 

What exactly is was the "altercation"? Was it some people shouting, a drunken scuffle, a bit of verbal abuse, a fist fight, someone being threatened with a baseball bat, or a rampaging serial killer executing 25 people? How could anyone possibly have any understanding of anything that happened from that rubbishy report?

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Most intriguing news story of the week was in The Indie (on same page as 'Murder Trial':

 

'A man charged with damaging a milk bottle belonging to the IOM Creameries appeared before the High Bailiff.

The offence was committed on January 30th and the case has been adjourned to July 21 for a hearing date to be fixed.

 

What's all that about -must be more to it than a broken milk bottle, surely?!

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Most intriguing news story of the week was in The Indie (on same page as 'Murder Trial':

 

'A man charged with damaging a milk bottle belonging to the IOM Creameries appeared before the High Bailiff.

The offence was committed on January 30th and the case has been adjourned to July 21 for a hearing date to be fixed.

 

What's all that about -must be more to it than a broken milk bottle, surely?!

 

Oh, well done IOM Newspapers. I said they'd never follow it up, but look at that! Pity it contains even less information than the first article. What is the point of reporting on it without including any details?

 

On a serious note, I can't believe that the case is still going. This milk bottle must have cost the taxpayer thousands of pounds by now.

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