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Switch Off Your Mobile Phones!


Thomas Jefferson

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Unless you are physically attaching it your head whilst you sleep there is no need to put in flight safe mode. Microwave energy is logarithmic.

Logarithms now there is something that used to do my head in.

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The biggest health risk/danger posed by mobile phones is when their users choose to stop their vehicles in the middle of the road to answer them. Happens all the time. Just last week a clown pulled on the handbrake westbound on Cooil Rd, just opposite Agrimark, tailback all the way to the roundabout.

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Bananas are worse for you, they give off ionising radiation!?!?!?! STOP EATING BANANAS THEY WILL KILL YOU. Anyone who's eaten a banana whilst talking on their mobile... I'm sorry... it's too late. I'll think of you when you die of multiple tumours.

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It gets even worse than that! As a recently qualified professional internet moron, I can give the following facts:

Sleeping next to someone (per night) = 0.05µSv

Eating one banana = 0.1µSv

Living in a stone, brick or concrete building for a year: 70µSv

Yearly natural dose from potassium in the body: 390µSv

Yearly background dose from natural sources: 4mSv

 

With this information in mind, I can suggest the following sensible, nay, necessary, precautions:

Sleep alone.

Avoid bananas.

Don't live anywhere near bricks stone or concrete.

Stop having a body.

Don't live.

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