Speckled Frost Posted June 20, 2005 Share Posted June 20, 2005 More often than not, I think that's the way it is with 'love.' You don't find it - it finds you. Is that where the phrase 'Love is Blind' comes from? F**king must be Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Observer Posted June 20, 2005 Share Posted June 20, 2005 Hmmm... don't think so. "You don't find it - it finds you." implies that 'it' is all seeing and that 'you' aren't. (Ie. love isn't blind, we are) Getting way too complicated now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speckled Frost Posted June 20, 2005 Share Posted June 20, 2005 I wouldn't analyse my slice of cynicism - it'll take you to dark places you don't want to go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tea&Biscuits Posted June 20, 2005 Share Posted June 20, 2005 I hve never looked for love, ever, i have always been happy to be single, and i think as a consequence, I have been in a relationship since I was 21 (this one now is my second!) Since 21 I have had an 8 month break after 6 year relationship with first man, and now im with current man - who makes me feel like this is the first time I am in love! You can never look for it, it just happens i think! You have to be a loving person and open to the idea though for it to happen IMHO I find it strange too that you think you are in love with someone, but then you realise in hindsight that yes you did love them, but in a different way? I think I loved my ex like a brother, friend, companion yet I thought i was totally deeply in love, its only since my new man that i realise how different the love is - my new man makes me love him in that sick way that makes you love sick, that turns your tummy, that make you smile all the time, and thats passionate yet calm and easy! Me and him are alos complete opposites and he is also 5 years younger and someone i never thuoght i would be with, so I always think that you should not be too caught up in what you "expect or want"out of a man/woman! Be open to anything (to a point) Lots of my girly mates who are 30+ an still single, I think, expect too much and are lookin for some kind of "dream guy" that dosent exist, they are scared to step out of their expectaitions or boundaries and explore! This is where they go wrong! There is nothing wrong in expecting basic things, but just dont be tooooo choosy! thats what i think!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Observer Posted June 20, 2005 Share Posted June 20, 2005 I wouldn't analyse my slice of cynicism - it'll take you to dark places you don't want to go. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Now you definitely have my full attention :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StuartT Posted June 20, 2005 Share Posted June 20, 2005 Lots of my girly mates who are 30+ an still single, I think, expect too much and are lookin for some kind of "dream guy" that dosent exist, they are scared to step out of their expectaitions or boundaries and explore! This is where they go wrong! There is nothing wrong in expecting basic things, but just dont be tooooo choosy! thats what i think!!! <{POST_SNAPBACK}> But expectations and boudaries can be bourne out of experience, so stepping outside them is basically admitting defeat, and could be perceived as a sign of desparation. I mean like I've dated girls who lived sedate indoor lifestyles, and I know for a fact I don't get on with them, so therefore I set my standard that those I date must be active and outdoorsy (and intellectual as well). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tea&Biscuits Posted June 20, 2005 Share Posted June 20, 2005 Stuart I think you have missed my point..... It would be dumb to go for qualities in a partner that you blatently dont like - i.e I dont like men who are controling or domineering, I also dont like men who smoke weed or have bad tempers,to other things like I dont usually fancy men with blond hair etc, so I wouldnt go for those things. What im saying is that be more open minded and dont dismiss people that your not sure of? ITs not about desperation at all, its just keeping an open mind and not putting your potential partners into a box and thats all you stick to! People sometimes expect too much and are looking for another person to make them complete or happy - its only when you are happy with yourself that you could become accepting of other people who are not your normal "type". You dont need that other person to give your life anymore qualities - im prob not explainin this in the way i am thinking, but i expect that if you have a long list of qualities that you want in your partner (exlcuding basics etc) an thats all you stick to, i guess you will be waiting a long time..... Of course you can have your basics like, I want someone who respects me, they have to work (ie have a job an can support themselves, really nt bothered in what area) they should be hygenic! etc, but aside from fundamental things like that, i am (or would have been) open to anything! I think I live my life like that - I like to mix with a variety of people, I dont just dismiss people cause "there not my kind of people" etc! To be honest both my long term relationships were and are successful and they were both with men I would never have pictured myself with - im glad i gave it a chance though. And to add to that, both the men, and espec my current partner never saw themselves with someone like me. NOwadays I dont believe that I have a "type" I think thats a bit outdated now! I would like to point out again, that i am not desperate and I have never even been on a date with the opposite sex! Now at 29 thats mad!! I just dont think i could do the whole "dating" thing, i would rather be single and just get on with my life an see what happens! Although i reckon that online dating things are cool, i know of 2 of my mates who are now happily married from them things! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lonan3 Posted June 20, 2005 Share Posted June 20, 2005 I set my standard that those I date intellectual as well. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Wouldn't you rather have someone more like yourself? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StuartT Posted June 20, 2005 Share Posted June 20, 2005 Stuart I think you have missed my point..... It would be dumb to go for qualities in a partner that you blatently dont like - i.e I dont like men who are controling or domineering, I also dont like men who smoke weed or have bad tempers,to other things like I dont usually fancy men with blond hair etc, so I wouldnt go for those things. What im saying is that be more open minded and dont dismiss people that your not sure of? ITs not about desperation at all, its just keeping an open mind and not putting your potential partners into a box and thats all you stick to! People sometimes expect too much and are looking for another person to make them complete or happy - its only when you are happy with yourself that you could become accepting of other people who are not your normal "type". You dont need that other person to give your life anymore qualities - im prob not explainin this in the way i am thinking, but i expect that if you have a long list of qualities that you want in your partner (exlcuding basics etc) an thats all you stick to, i guess you will be waiting a long time..... Of course you can have your basics like, I want someone who respects me, they have to work (ie have a job an can support themselves, really nt bothered in what area) they should be hygenic! etc, but aside from fundamental things like that, i am (or would have been) open to anything! I think I live my life like that - I like to mix with a variety of people, I dont just dismiss people cause "there not my kind of people" etc! To be honest both my long term relationships were and are successful and they were both with men I would never have pictured myself with - im glad i gave it a chance though. And to add to that, both the men, and espec my current partner never saw themselves with someone like me. NOwadays I dont believe that I have a "type" I think thats a bit outdated now! I would like to point out again, that i am not desperate and I have never even been on a date with the opposite sex! Now at 29 thats mad!! I just dont think i could do the whole "dating" thing, i would rather be single and just get on with my life an see what happens! Although i reckon that online dating things are cool, i know of 2 of my mates who are now happily married from them things! <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Hey, I would generally agree that you shouldn't dismiss those you're not sure of, but the way of the world is such that few would use that philosophy. I used to, but just found it didn't work, and being accomodating rarely seems to work both ways. Now I agree with you, it's better to be happy alone, but so few people seem to do that, instead having this thing about being in a relationship all the time. Online dating does sound like a laugh. Often thought it would be interesting to go out for an evening with someone totally random who you didn't know, just to get to find out their perceptions of the world, and get to know them. Just as a bit of fun. Though it does also seem like an admission of defeat to go on a dating site in some cases. I suppose if you were looking for specific qualities, it may be somewhere to find someone who matches them closely. I didn't used to have a type, but through experience found out the 'type' I get on best with. Like you say it would be mad to be with someone with a lifestyle in opposition to your own. I don't see what's mad about never having dated a member of the opposite sex - obviously they just don't do it for you, but there you have found what you like, and you go for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest King Orry Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 This thread has been warped beyond all comprhension , to clarify i believe it is not possible to find love on the iom because all the oppotunities to meet nice people are thwarted by a few good reasons take this scenario for an example ; you happily sitting in coulours or any night club/ bar and you see this lady who is just your type great looking good dress scense the works. So you go up to her put on your best david niven or whatever here is how the conversation would go KING ORRY: Hello my dear can i offer you a beverage 'Lady': eRHHHHH go on then son give us a pint of smiths At which point the need to be sick all over her becase she has the manners and the voice of a scouse prostute . hence it is impossible to find love on the isle of man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slim Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 Dont feed teh troll. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
girl89 Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 This thread has been warped beyond all comprhension , to clarify i believe it is not possible to find love on the iom because all the oppotunities to meet nice people are thwarted by a few good reasons take this scenario for an example ; you happily sitting in coulours or any night club/ bar and you see this lady who is just your type great looking good dress scense the works. So you go up to her put on your best david niven or whatever here is how the conversation would go KING ORRY: Hello my dear can i offer you a beverage 'Lady': eRHHHHH go on then son give us a pint of smiths At which point the need to be sick all over her becase she has the manners and the voice of a scouse prostute . hence it is impossible to find love on the isle of man. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> well there's a boat in the morning for you if you don't like it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tea&Biscuits Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 Knew someone was gona say that!! well done! Have you noticed in the summer that everyone is all flirting with each other! Its great! the heat init! Girls walkin about with skimpy clothes on and the men looking all buff in their vests and shorts! Yay for the summer, although our office has no air con and we are in a glass fronted building on holloway road (very noisy and polluted) so we cant even open the windows - makes me laugh, Unis now rake in so much money and we are all working in a sweat shop! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speckled Frost Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 All that sweat just adds to the mating instinct Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Observer Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 well there's a boat in the morning for you if you don't like it All that sweat just adds to the mating instinct ....it's the ferrymoans...... BOOM! BOOM!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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