One In Three Blames Women For Being Raped

[Dontlookbehindyou]

While I would never condone rape, there is an element of truth in this. It is not so much the male predator, but more the loss of judgement on both sides that gives rise to problems. Each may be reading totally wrongly the other's signals and there you go!

 

So, the best thing is don't put yourself in that situation, don't be so out of it that you can't recognise when things are going too far that you are no longer in control of yourself (and I mean that for both sexes) ! Its simple, just be in charge of yourself!

 

 

I agree with what you say but it isn't always "Date Rape".

 

I think if the woman says no and then the bloke follows this with violence and then rape, there can't be any mixed signals.

[Gladys]

Agree with you 100% Wabbit! In those circumstances then there is no question of the predatory male. My response was following on the theme of the role alcohol plays in these matters.

 

Do the statistics reveal how many cases of rape are a situation going too far and how many are violent, uninvited assaults?

[Dontlookbehindyou]

Lonan didn't put it in the post so I guess not.

 

I still think if the woman is so drunk or bordering on unconsciousness and the guy takes advantage of the situation, that he must be a low-life

and surely can't think that's a "come on".

 

As for women getting into that state in the first place, is as usual putting the responsibility onto the woman.

 

Most females tend to go out with groups of friends and get taxis home any way.

[Spatula girl]

Glad to be back I think you are actually spot on in your comments.

 

The thing that annoys me (in a similar vein), is being pinched and touched in night clubs. Blokes seem to think just because it's a club and we're all drinking they have carte blanche to place their hands all over you.

 

What would happen if someone did that in a shop or the street for example. "Err hello police..."

 

It happens all the time, Colours is the worst, I've stopped going in recent weeks because of it and other friends feel the same.

 

Also when I complained to the bouncers following an incident with one letch I was told we'll keep an eye on him. I think too many girls are just content to put up with it, no wonder the number of sexual assaults is on the increase, men really are getting the wrong signals in more ways than one

[Observer]

I agree - I frequently get my arse touched up when I'm out and I find it absolutely incredible that whoever is doing it feels that they are within their rights to just touch me. (By the way, I am never drunk as I hate feeling that way and neither is my arse hanging out of a short skirt, I'm usually in jeans/trousers, not that it should make any difference.)

 

Do I trawl around pubs grasping blokes nuts???? No. (Well I expect that might be well received by some but that's not the point)

[puddy]

I've been felt up a couple of times. Both cases were completely unprovoked and I went berserk which the men in question seemed quite surprised about, like my behaviour was in the wrong. I got an apology from one of them but the other was a complete idiot and said I was over-reacting and it was only a joke, then he grabbed my hand and said, "Here, feel me up, then we'll be even." "No thanks", I said as I turned away and headed out the door. I was heading towards the police station when I was talked out of reporting him by my friend. We took the view that because I had been drinking they wouldn't take me seriously and also I was in a nightclub so I should be expecting that kind of behaviour from the men who go there. I thought the likelihood that I would be misunderstood or the officer having different moral values to me might make me feel bad about myself in some way, like I was reduced to that pervert's level, whereas I felt really good about taking the higher ground and what could they do for me anyway? What he did wasn't that serious I suppose but it happened a few years ago and now I'm that bit older I wouldn't hesitate to report someone, whether I'd been out drinking in Paramount or stone cold sober in Oxfam.

[Ean]

We took the view that ... I was in a nightclub so I should be expecting that kind of behaviour from the men who go there.

 

Sorry but nobody should have to expect that behaviour in any situation. You should have reported it at the very least to the bouncersr on the door if they don't take you seriously then you have even more reason to complain, and a valid reason to go to the police.

 

I don't see it in clubs over here, i know that none of the girls i know have ever complained about it or even mentioned that it has happened to me but who knows maybe they just have the same attitude as puddy.

 

I frequently get my arse touched up when I'm out and I find it absolutely incredible that whoever is doing it feels that they are within their rights to just touch me.

Sorry Obs, i thought you enjoyed it. I'll stop from now on.....

[puddy]

I'm actually far less tolerant about these things than any of my friends and if you knew me you would understand that. What you said doesn't make me feel any better because it happened years ago, it wasn't that serious and the police may have laughed, but I am very intolerant. It's also very easy for someone else to say what I should have done.

[Ean]

Woah, i wasn't having a go at you i probably would have done the same thing (my attitude being is it really worth the hassle) but it threw up some questions along the lines of "is it something that should be accepted as part and parcel of going out" and personally i don't think it should be.

[Observer]

Puddy, I react exactly the same way - it's totally out of order, you're minding your own business and someone takes it upon themselves to grope your body... hello????