jacko Posted December 13, 2005 Share Posted December 13, 2005 I found this today,thought I should post it here.Sorry if anyone has seen this before but it`s just too funny not to share : if World War Two had been an online Real Ttime Strategy game, the chat room traffic would have gone something like this. *Hitler[AoE] has joined the game.* *Eisenhower has joined the game.* *paTTon has joined the game.* *Churchill has joined the game.* *benny-tow has joined the game.* *T0J0 has joined the game.* *Roosevelt has joined the game.* *Stalin has joined the game.* *deGaulle has joined the game.* Roosevelt: hey sup T0J0: y0 Stalin: hi Churchill: hi Hitler[AoE]: cool, i start with panzer tanks! paTTon: lol more like panzy tanks T0JO: lol Roosevelt: o this fockin sucks i got a depression! benny-tow: haha america sux Stalin: hey hitler you dont fight me i dont fight u, cool? Hitler[AoE]; sure whatever Stalin: cool deGaulle: **** Hitler rushed some1 help Hitler[AoE]: lol byebye frenchy Roosevelt: i dont got **** to help, sry Churchill: wtf the luftwaffle is attacking me Roosevelt: get antiair guns Churchill: i cant afford them benny-tow: u n00bs know what team talk is? paTTon: stfu Roosevelt: o yah hit the navajo button guys deGaulle: eisenhower ur worthless come help me quick Eisenhower: i cant do **** til rosevelt gives me an army paTTon: yah hurry the fock up Churchill: d00d im gettin pounded deGaulle: this is fockin weak u guys suck *deGaulle has left the game.* Roosevelt: im gonna attack the axis k? benny-tow: with what? ur wheelchair? benny-tow: lol did u mess up ur legs AND ur head? Hitler[AoE]: ROFLMAO T0J0: lol o no america im comin 4 u Roosevelt: wtf! thats bullsh1t u fags im gunna kick ur asses T0JO: not without ur harbors u wont! lol Roosevelt: u little biotch ill get u Hitler[AoE]: wtf Hitler[AoE]: america hax, u had depression and now u got a huge fockin army Hitler[AoE]: thats bullsh1t u hacker Churchill: lol no more france for u hitler Hitler[AoE]: tojo help me! T0J0: wtf u want me to do, im on the other side of the world retard Hitler[AoE]: fine ill clear you a path Stalin: WTF u arsshoel! WE HAD A FoCKIN TRUCE Hitler[AoE]: i changed my mind lol benny-tow: haha benny-tow: hey ur losing ur guys in africa im gonna need help in italy soon sum1 T0J0: o **** i cant help u i got my hands full Hitler[AoE]: im 2 busy 2 help Roosevelt: yah thats right ***** im comin for ya Stalin: church help me Churchill: like u helped me before? sure ill just sit here Stalin: dont be an arss Churchill: dont be a commie. oops too late Eisenhower: LOL benny-tow: hahahh oh sh1t help Hitler: o man ur focked paTTon: oh what now biotch Roosevelt: whos the cripple now lol *benny-tow has been eliminated.* benny-tow: lame Roosevelt: gj patton paTTon: thnx Hitler[AoE]: WTF eisenhower hax hes killing all my sh1t Hitler[AoE]: quit u hacker so u dont ruin my record Eisenhower: Nuts! benny~tow: wtf that mean? Eisenhower: meant to say nutsack lol finger slipped paTTon: coming to get u hitler u paper hanging hun cocksocker Stalin: rofl T0J0: HAHAHHAA Hitler[AoE]: u guys are fockin gay Hitler[AoE]: ur never getting in my city *Hitler[AoE] has been eliminated.* benny~tow: OMG u noob you killed yourself Eisenhower: ROFLOLOLOL Stalin: OMG LMAO! Hitler[AoE]: WTF i didnt click there omg this game blows *Hitler[AoE] has left the game* paTTon: hahahhah T0J0: WTF my teammates are n00bs benny~tow: be quiet noob Roosevelt: haha wut a moron paTTon: wtf am i gunna do now? Eisenhower: yah me too T0J0: why dont u attack me o thats right u dont got no ships lololol Eisenhower: fock u paTTon: lemme go thru ur base commie Stalin: go to hell lol paTTon: fock this sh1t im goin afk Eisenhower: yah this is gay *Roosevelt has left the game.* Hitler[AoE]: wtf? Eisenhower: sh1t now we need some1 to join *tru_m4n has joined the game.* tru_m4n: hi all T0J0: hey Stalin: sup Churchill: hi tru_m4n: OMG OMG OMG i got all his stuff! tru_m4n: NUKES! HOLY **** I GOT NUKES Stalin: d00d gimmie some plz tru_m4n: no way i only got like a couple Stalin: omg dont be gay gimmie nuculer secrets T0J0: wtf is nukes? T0J0: holy ****holy****hoyl****! *T0J0 has been eliminated.* *The Allied team has won the game!* Eisenhower: awesome! Churchill: gg noobs no re T0J0: thats bull**** u fockin suck *T0J0 has left the game.* *Eisenhower has left the game.* Stalin: next game im not going to be on ur team, u guys didnt help me for **** Churchill: wutever, we didnt need ur help neway dumbarss tru_m4n: l8r all benny~tow: bye Churchill: l8r Stalin: fock u all tru_m4n: be quiet commie lol *tru_m4n has left the game.* benny~tow: lololol u commie Churchill: ROFL Churchill: bye commie *Churchill has left the game.* *benny~tow has left the game.* Stalin: i hate u all fags *Stalin has left the game.* paTTon: lol no1 is left paTTon: weeeee i got a jeep *paTTon has been eliminated.* paTTon: o sh1t! *paTTon has left the game.* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jools Posted December 13, 2005 Share Posted December 13, 2005 I've seen something similar This is WW2 for the 1337 *7:42PM* <Waxx> "WWII for the 1337" *7:42PM* <Waxx> Hitler is talking to these people *7:42PM* <Waxx> and he's like *7:43PM* <Waxx> "ph34r, i r 1337" *7:43PM* <Waxx> and they are all like, "omgz k" *7:43PM* <Waxx> thus, hitler rises to power in germany *7:43PM* <Waxx> now *7:43PM* <Waxx> the british and french are like "wtf" *7:43PM* <Waxx> so they talk to him *7:43PM* <Waxx> and they're like "d00d wtf r u doing" *7:43PM* <Waxx> now *7:44PM* <Waxx> well *7:44PM* <Waxx> we'll skip in the middle *7:44PM* <Waxx> September 1st, 1939 *7:44PM* <Waxx> Hitler invades poland *7:44PM* <Waxx> the polish are like "omg wtf" *7:44PM* <Waxx> and the germans are like "ph34r" *7:44PM* <Waxx> polish are like "wtf no" *7:44PM* <Waxx> and then the germans pwn them all *7:44PM* <Waxx> poland falls to the germans *7:45PM* <Waxx> next they march through belgium to go around the maginot line *7:45PM* <Waxx> the french thought they were 1337 with that maginot line, but they were just n00bs *7:45PM* <Waxx> anyhow *7:45PM* <Waxx> with hitler marching through neutral belgium, the british are like "omg wtf" *7:45PM* <Waxx> eventually, hitler gets through poland and attacks france, bypassing the maginot line *7:45PM* <Waxx> the french are like "omg h4x" *7:46PM* <Waxx> and the germans are, again, like "ph34r" *7:46PM* <Waxx> France falls *7:46PM* <Waxx> Britain now becomes involved in active combat against the germans *7:46PM* <Waxx> now, there are about 300,000 british and french soldiers on the beaches of dunkirk *7:47PM* <Waxx> and the germans are coming, they're all like "omgz pwn" *7:47PM* <Waxx> and winston churchill says "n00bs, no" *7:47PM* <Waxx> then all the british begin h4xing *7:47PM* <Waxx> most of those 300,000 men are rescued and pwn another day *7:47PM* <Waxx> things quiet down for a bit *7:48PM* <Waxx> anyway *7:48PM* <Waxx> things are quiet until hitler decides he'd like to invade russia *7:48PM* <Waxx> so, he does *7:48PM* <Waxx> the russians are like "OMG WTF D00DZ, STOP TKING" *7:48PM* <Waxx> and the germans are still like "omg ph34r n00bz" *7:48PM* <Waxx> the russians fall back, all the way to moscow *7:48PM* <Waxx> and then they all begin h4xing, which brings on the russian winter *7:49PM* <Waxx> the germans are like "wtf, h4x" *7:49PM* <Waxx> now, the russians are like "omgz pwn" *7:49PM* <Waxx> and so, the russians begin pushing the germans out of the soviet union *7:49PM* <Waxx> so there you have it in europe *7:49PM* <Waxx> but what's happening in the pacific? *7:50PM* <Waxx> now *7:50PM* <Waxx> japanese relations with the US had been deteriorating *7:50PM* <Waxx> in fact, the japanese bought scrap metal off us up until a few days before pearl harbor *7:50PM* <Waxx> the US was just like "omgz k" *7:51PM* <Waxx> and the japs were like "thx" *7:51PM* <Waxx> suddenly, on december 7th, the japanese attack pearl harbor, hawaii *7:51PM* <Waxx> the americans are like "WTF" *7:51PM* <Waxx> and the japanese, like their german allies, are all "omgz ph34r" *7:51PM* <Waxx> seeing as the US had not developed proper h4x yet, they were unable to repel the onslaught *7:52PM* <Waxx> roosevelt orders immediate h4xing, and war is declared upon the empire of japan *7:52PM* <Waxx> the japanese were very 1337 *7:52PM* <Waxx> they really knew how to h4x0rz *7:53PM* <Waxx> so the us suffered a string of defeats *7:53PM* <Waxx> until an obscure island known as midway becomes a very pivotal point on the map *7:53PM* <Waxx> the japanese sent out a 1337 battle fleet to take and occupy midway *7:54PM* <Waxx> the americans, now becoming fluent in their h4xing abilities, managed to h4x the japanese code *7:54PM* <Waxx> and learned of the plot *7:54PM* <Waxx> so they sent out some h4xing vessels...er..i mean aircraft carriers, destroyers, and one or two submarines to deal with the japanese threat *7:54PM* <Waxx> the japanese began their attack on midway *7:55PM* <Waxx> they immediately were like "WTF are these planez0rz and shipz0rz doing here?" *7:55PM* <Waxx> the americans are now like "omgz pwn" *7:55PM* <Waxx> they now had the h4x with them, and sunkz0rz four front line japanese aircraft carriers, a major defeat for the japanese *7:56PM* <Waxx> from this point on, the japanese would be playing a defensive battle for the rest of the war *7:56PM* <Waxx> now, back to europe *7:56PM* <Waxx> the year is now 1944 *7:56PM* <Waxx> the US 8th air force has been pwning the german industry by the air for some time now *7:56PM* <Waxx> the british have been pwning them at night *7:57PM* <Waxx> eisenhower the 1337 feels that it is time to stage the attack on fortress europe *7:57PM* <Waxx> and thus, on june 6, 1944, operation overlord commenced *7:58PM* <Waxx> the germans were like "wtf r they doing here", because we had h4xed them into believing the landing sites would be at calaise, far from the actual landing zones *7:58PM* <Waxx> still, they put up a very 1337 fight *7:58PM* <Waxx> rommel had wanted to use his 1337 panzer divisions to drive the allies into the sea *7:58PM* <Waxx> but hitler was like "Wtf n00b, no, stfu" *7:59PM* <Waxx> because of this, the allies were able to establish a beachhead and begin landing their massive amounts of war materiel *7:59PM* <Waxx> after the beaches, facing the allies were many large bushes called bocage *7:59PM* <Waxx> crisscrossing the french countryside *8:00PM* <Waxx> the germans camped in them, waiting to pwn anyone who dared to go through *8:00PM* <Waxx> this posed a severe problem for the allies *8:00PM* <Waxx> some ingenious engineers, however, devised a contraption that, when fitted to the hull of a tank, could cut through the dense bocage *8:01PM* <Waxx> when the germans first encountered vehicles with these contraptions, they were like "omgz wtf, h4x0rz" *8:01PM* <Waxx> the americans were like "omgz pwn" *8:01PM* <Waxx> though the fight was still tough, and many allied tanks and men were lost *8:02PM* <Waxx> but the germans would not be lasting much longer *8:02PM* <Waxx> with 1337 allied air cover now completely pwning the skies, they could now concentrate on close air support *8:02PM* <Waxx> the germans now got to experience this on the receiving end *8:02PM* <Waxx> needless to say, they were all going "omg wtf" *8:03PM* <Waxx> with the russians having pushed the germans completely out of their homeland, the end was near for the third reich *8:03PM* <Waxx> soon the allies reached the rhine river *8:03PM* <Waxx> the germans, crafty as ever, blew up all the bridges across *8:03PM* <Waxx> except one *8:03PM* <Waxx> then some 1337 allies in some jeepz0rz ran across it *8:03PM* <Waxx> the germans were like "OMGZ H4X" *8:04PM* <Waxx> the allies had entered germany itself *8:04PM* <Waxx> much fighting ensued, and eventually they reached berlin after much pwnage being dealt from both sides *8:04PM* <Waxx> the russians, vengeful as ever, were allowed to enter berlin first *8:04PM* <Waxx> where they proceeded to pwn everything, no matter what in hell it was *8:05PM* <Waxx> hitler comes to his senses and goes "wtf..." *8:05PM* <Waxx> he and his mistress commit suicide in an underground bunker deep in germany *8:05PM* <Waxx> the war in europe is over. *8:06PM* <Waxx> meanwhile in the pacific..... *8:06PM* <Waxx> with the americans having dealt a major blow to the japanese at midway, they press their luck further *8:06PM* <Waxx> they begin pwning islands *8:06PM* <Waxx> island after island falls *8:06PM* <Waxx> iwo jima falls *8:06PM* <Waxx> okinawa falls *8:07PM* <Waxx> not wanting to risk the insanely high casualty rate of an invasion of japan, the president decides to drop two atomic bombs *8:07PM* <Waxx> the japanese surrender *8:07PM* <Waxx> world war two is over *8:07PM* <Waxx> everyone goes home and gets laid *8:07PM* <Waxx> the end Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.