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Icon Of England


cheesemonster2005

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http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/4594660.stm

 

According to this BBC News article the icon of Scotland maybe whisky, the millennium stadium for the Welsh, Ian Paisley for those from the north of Ireland and dodgy money for the Manx. (ok I added the last two myself). But what about England I hear you cry, well that's the whole point of the fucking article you moron - pay attention cretin. England (and anyone else who wants to screw up their pole) must decide.

 

Likely candidates include:

1) Stonehenge (expensive billboard between two dual carriageways)

2) Jerusulam hymn (a place with bombings and injustice that's actually better than England)

3) Routemaster bus (why not care about it now it's gone rather than before)

4) King James Bible (the book that England forgot)

5) SS Empire Windrush (the boat that brought thousands of immigrants to the gloomy country)

6) Punch and Judy (too good to be English?)

7) Angel of the North (it's brilliant because it doesn't come from London)

8) FA cup (the only one not stolen by B Sky B)

9) cup of tea (go on, go on, go on, go on, ah go on!)

10) Alice in Wonderland (drugged-up world to make you feel good about England)

11) Spitfire (we can kill 100 Germans a minute, civilian or conscript)

12) Holbeins portrait of Henry (no idea what it is which may explain why 2% have voted for it)

 

So what's it to be? Unfortunately you can't vote for football hooliganism, imperializm or the ability to shoot protesters dead in Derry. Can you guess what's in the lead so far - oh go on, go on, go on, go on, go on

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

go on....

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I think they've rather missed the point with this. Icons change to reflect the times.

A few years ago, one of the icons of England might have been a fish & chip shop - today it would be a curry house or a burger bar.

Once upon a time it would have been plaster ducks in flight on a living-room wall, today it would be a huge plasma screen showing a soap opera.

The country pub serving lukewarm beer is now a wine bar flogging cheap plonk disguised as something rare and expensive from France.

The deckchair in the back garden has become a 'barbie' on the patio.

And the friendly bobby on the beat has now become a dalek in a patrol car - unable to use his legs for walking.

Icons are not permanent.

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kebab shops

bulldogs

boyracers

burberry

cups of tea

nokias (stolen)

football

eurotrash

st george sovereign chains/rings

drug dealing

underage sex

high divorce rates

the lotto

gang violence

alcopops

knock offs at the market

the big issue

illegal immigration

corner shops

asian taxi drivers

lambert and butler

moss side

prostitutes

ASBO's

strongbow

ken barlow

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high divorce rates

the lotto

alcopops

lambert and butler

moss side

ASBO's

strongbow

ken barlow

 

I've left the ones which I think are most appropriate! Divorce brings happiness to many people. The lotto is a national obsession and highlights how desperate many people can be to 'better' themselves. Alcopops are just so very British. L&B represent people choosing to kill themselves by cmoking nasty cigarettes (I'm a smoker but prefer to go to my next live having smoked nice fags). Moss Side kicks ass - I lived there for a few years and loved the place as it felt like a proper community where people actually speak to onanother (gang violence and drive-bys aside). Strongbow is British. Ken Barlow is a good choice too.

 

Next up - the icon of the Isle of Man...

 

Manx cats

3 legs of man

Shoprite carrier bags

ignorant and predjudice locals...

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